We have a very unique What If for all of you today which is slowly becoming one of my favorite things to post because I love imagining things if they were different or what they would look like if something was changed. We’ve had some really cool What Ifs (six to be exact) and we have something even better for all of you for What If… Part 7 which takes a look at what the Garbage Pail Kids would look like 30 years later. In 1985, Topps Trading Cards released The Garbage Pail Kids which was their way of poking fun at the very popular Cabbage Pail Kids. They created an iconic series which even inspired a film that we covered for Cheeseball Cinema (which can be viewed here).  Well two friends by the names of Jake Houvenagle and Brandon Voges got together one day and discussed their love for the old series. They decided to do a photoshoot where they re-imagined what the Garbage Pail Kids would look like thirty years after their release and the results are cool as hell. To view more of the project and the special behind the scenes pics they show you, go here. Next to each pic is going to be a story that the two friends give with each pic, so enjoy this What If.

1The first one up for the guys is Clogged Duane: Who would have thought that a child who suffered such a traumatic, life-threatening experience would grow up to be the regional manager of a drain clearing and plumbing business? Plumb Nutz was ranked in the top 900 businesses of Fairfax County (East division) and Duane has been helping people remove all sorts of goodies from choked pipes for the last 22 years. His horrible accident left him with a set of thin and flexible appendages which he now uses to snake through clogged drains, and, by tickling his toes, remove the culprits.

 

 

 

2The next guy up is one of my personal favorites in Adam BombAs a small child, Adam had no idea how much of an impact pressing that button would have on his life (and everyone else’s). He’s had to live with that horrible, juvenile decision for his entire life, in this wasteland that he created. He lost everyone and everything, and was the only one that survived the destruction. It’s been the source of major depression throughout his life (and his head). Although that dented head has healed, his heart has remained a wasteland.

 

 

3The next one up is every ones favorite unkempt and unattractive Armpit BrittBritt is the poster child for growing up tough. Her pit hair started growing early, and fast. Shaving did nothing, and as a poor family they had no money for laser treatment or waxing. She lived in a trailer with seven other extended family members, one of them being a touchy uncle who loved fondling her armpit hair. She turned to drugs at an early age. By 15, she had been to jail and rehab more times than the number of pit dreads under her arms. Britt turned things around the best she could, and now sober, she provides for her five kids working steadily at two jobs at the local truck stop and corner liquor store.

 

4The next one on the list the always terrifying and unique Bony Tony who uses his unique ability to his advantage: Tony did pretty well with the ladies in high school. They always wanted to get “under his skin,” curious what would be hiding under that zipper. In college, Tony partied hard, eventually dropped out, never to return. He was good with his hands, but unable to hold down a construction gig or any of the local assembly line jobs because of the safety concerns related to his loose skin. Tony decided he had a real gift, and took it to the stage. He has been headlining a low end Chippendales knock off in old town Vegas for the last 14 years.

5This is our last one because you’ll have to check out the other one on their site that I provided in the first paragraph. What we have for you is the oddity known as Noah BodyNoah has become known for that optimistic smile. Born with no body, his options were limited. To survive, he begged for change in exchange for pencils. He spent most of his childhood homeless, but always had that smile. He knew he was destined for bigger things, body or not. With that smile and charm he worked his way from being homeless on the tough streets of New York, to being the founder and owner of Pencil Club, a monthly pencil delivery service that has 20,000 employees and is the #1 pencil retailer in 42 countries. A fun Noah fact: He now owns the high-rise office building that he once begged in front of.

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