Archive for the ‘Ass Whoopin Wednesdays’ Category

3-o-clock-highThere is a film that is currently in the cinemas that stars Ice Cube (Ride Along) and Charlie Day (It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia) called Fist Fight that just reminded me too much of a film from the 80’s. That film that I am talking about is called Three O’Clock High which has the same premise, but reversed as far as it’s the students who get into a fight. Jerry Mitchell (Casey Siemaszko), a model student at Weaver High School who works at the school store and also writes for the school newspaper is about to have the worst day of his life on the first day of school. All Jerry wants to do is just get through the day, but he is soon assigned to write an article about the new kid in school Buddy Revell (Richard Tyson) who carries around quite the reputation. After meeting Buddy, Jerry is challenged to a fight after school and he has to man up and fight or find a way out. The film also stars Jeffrey Tambor (Arrested Development) as Mr. Rice, John P. Ryan (Batman: Mask Of The Phantasm) as Mr. O’Rourke, Philip Baker Hall (Bruce Almighty) as Detective Mulvahill, Liza Morrow (Dynasty) as Karen Clarke, Annie Ryan (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off) as Frannie Perrins, Jonathan Wise (Soul Man) as Vincent Costello, and the film was directed by Phil Joanou (U2: Rattle And Hum).  

siemaszko-vs-tysonIt had a huge fight feel as both guys made their way to the school parking lot, Jerry had a lot of guts going out there. Before the fight could start, Mr. O’Rourke tried to stop the fight, but he made the mistake of touching Jerry and he was knocked out. Buddy started the fight by charging right at Jerry and he hit with a right to the shoulder that sent Jerry right to the ground. After a distraction by Frannie, he tried to charge Buddy, but he got punched right in the chest. Then all of a sudden, it looked like he found a way to attack Buddy when he took out his knee and then jumped on his back, but Buddy would slam him on top of a car. The local school security guard then tried to step in, but he got knocked out for his troubles. Things looked kind of hopeless for poor Jerry, but I have to give him a lot of credit because he never gave up. He got right back up from the hood and told Jerry, “You’re not finished over here Pu**y.”

siemaszko-vs-tyson-2Then as both were standing in the center of the parking lot waiting to make the move, Jerry hit Buddy with a jab that bloodied his nose and actually shocked Buddy. The only problem is that Buddy returned the favor with a huge right hook that sent Jerry to the concrete. Then Buddy decided to resort to dirty tactics as he pulled out the brass knuckles, but thanks to Vincent (Jerrys friend) jumping on Buddy out of nowhere, the brass knuckles flew off his hand and hit the ground. That is when Jerry’s sister noticed, grabbed them, and threw them to Jerry. Then as soon as both men were in the center again, Buddy went for a right cross, but missed and Jerry returned with a hook of his own with the brass knuckles that knocked out Buddy Revell. After 6:30 minutes, Jerry Mitchell was the winner of the fight and he gets the girl he wants at the end. Now of course, I have to check out Fist Fight to see where the similarities begin and end.

jack-reacher-2If you noticed in the last couple of weeks, we have been doing a new segment called Tuesday Night Fights which we have listed under Ass Whoopin Wednesdays. Witht hat being said, we haven’t forgotten about the actual Ass Whoopin Wednesdays, we have just been waiting for the right film to come along. For this week’s edition of Ass Whoopin Wednesdays, we are watching Jack Reacher: Never Go Back. In this film, we see Jack Reacher (Tom Cruise) return to DC to meet a Major Turner (Cobie Smulders) to take her out on a date, but there is a problem. She has been arrested for treason and he is being charged with murdering her lawyer and he found out that he is possibly a dad. So, he breaks her out of jail to try and get to the bottom of the problem before they are both toast, but this goes deeper than they expected. The film also stars Aldis Hodge (Straight Outta Compton) as Espin, Danika Yarosh (Shameless) as Sam, Patrick Heusinger (Black Swan) as The Hunter, Holt McCallany (Fight Club) as Col. Morgan, Robert Knepper (Hard Target 2) as General Harkness, Madalyn Horcher (Gracepoint) as Sgt. Leach, and the film was directed by Edward Zwick (Legends Of The Fall). Before we get into the review of the film, let’s check out some stats:

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jack-reacher-2-never-go-back-movieAs far as the stats are concerned, Jack Reacher has about 18 kills/KO’s in the film and if you want to know his origin story then rent the first film. He kind of has a love interest because his whole reasoning for going to DC in the first place was to take Major Turner out on a date. As far as the love interest, family, or friend getting hurt is concerned, they are fugitives on the run who are constantly shot at and at one point the Hunter tries to kidnap what could be his daughter. So, I think it’s safe to say that question gets a yes to it. The big boss is defeated, but not in a way you would think so watch it to find out for yourself. I loved the first Jack Reacher film and I definitely liked this one, but it could have been a little bit better. There were some things in the film that I just felt were a little rushed to be honest, but overall it has all the action and problem solving you could want from the film. I wasn’t a huge fan of Aldis Hodge’s character for most of the film cause it was kind of cheesy, but you’ll like him in the end. The fight scenes Cruise had were pretty good as well and you got to love the Hunter who is the ultimate match for him throughout the whole film. I feel like their fight scene in the end could have been more of a fight then it was, but I’ll allow it. I am going to give the film an B+ for a final grade.

king-kong-vs-godzillaAll this talk going around the internet about 2020 and the new King Kong vs Godzilla film which may get some attention as the special scene in the upcoming Kong: Skull Island has me wanting the match now. Then I realized that they did face each other before and it was all the way back in 1962 which was 55 years ago. In the original version, an American submarine travelling around in the ocean sees something nuclear inside of an a gigantic glacier. When they go in to investigate it, they by accidentally unleash the most fearless monster of all in Godzilla. Jealous that one station reported on the findings, Mr. Tako (Ichirō Arishima) sends two of his best men to the mysterious Faro Island to discover whether there is a monster on that island or not. When a giant Octopus comes ashore and attacks the island, the two men Sakurai (Tadao Takashima) and Kinsaburo (Yu Fujiki) discover that King Kong is the monster of that island. Drugged up and asleep, they bring King Kong to Japan where he will do battle with Godzilla in an attempt to save Japan. The film also stars Kenji Sahara (Godzilla: King Of The Monsters) as Kazuo Fujita, Mie Hama (You Only Live Twice) as Fumiko Sakurai, Akiko Wakabayashi (Akiko) as Tamie, and the film was directed by Ishirō Honda (Kagemusha).

kong-vs-zillaThe battle starts a little early between the two when they confront each other in a giant field. Both of them do not know what to make of each other, but that doesn’t stop Kong from striking first as he attempts to hit Godzilla with a boulder that misses. Godzilla retaliates by hitting him with his fire that seems to stun and shock him to the point that he walks away from the battle. Godzilla certainly won round one of the fight as he boasted over it. The people tried to intervene in the problem by digging a giant hole for Godzilla to fall in and with that done, they would blow him up, but of course that backfires. After a while, Kong begins to frighten the public as he moves in on the city and a train that he decimates. He ends up grabbing Fumiko like he has done in the past with other women, but they can’t have that. They end up drugging him and moving him with balloons for a final showdown with Godzilla because Godzilla is a bigger problem for them.

kong-vs-zilla-2They end up cutting the wires and they drop Kong in to fight Godzilla. On the way down, he slides down the mountain and he knocks Godzilla on to his backside. At first, it’s as if Kong wants nothing to do with Godzilla because he hides behind a cliff of sorts. Then out of nowhere, Kong sees Godzilla’s tail and he decides to attack by grabbing the tail. After being hit off of his tail, Kong decides to throw big boulders at Godzilla and this only angers the giant lizard. Then they lock up in a collar & elbow tie up, but after seeing the plates on Godzilla’s back light up, Kong tries to get out of the way, but he still gets hit and that angers him. It angers him to the point that he shoulder tackles Godzilla and Godzilla falls on his backside. Kong is now on a roll as he has Godzilla reeling an unable to get up off of the ground. Then all of a sudden when he goes to throw a boulder at Godzilla, he trips and falls and hits his head against the mountain. That is when Godzilla begins to try and bury Kong with the rocks and he begins to use his tail to stomp on Kong’s stomach.

kong-vs-zilla-3Kong tries to psych himself up after being knocked down, but he gets a dropkick of sorts from Godzilla that sends him immediately down. This time it looks as if, Kong truly is done for as he is getting buried under boulders and Godzilla is stomping him with his tail again. Things do not look good for the Japanese public at this point in the match, but the weather will play a factor as lightning strikes wakes up Kong. Kong begins to bring it to Godzilla as he grabs him by the tail and he swings him and throws him to the ground. He then climbs on top of Godzilla he begins to smash away and then he tries to stuff a tree down Godzilla’s throat and even executes a nice hip toss. The two would just go at it for the rest of the fight throwing everything they had at each other. Towards the end of the fight, Kong would just spear Godzilla into the Pacific Ocean. That was the end of the fight as Kong emerged from the water we assume victorious after 10 minutes of battle.

28It has been quite some time since I reviewed a film of any nature and I wanted to try something new. We have been doing Ass Whooping Wednesdays for quite some time that I wanted to try something new and I came up with Tuesday Night Fights where we take those films where there is an obvious showdown in it and we review the fight. The first film we are checking out is Way Of The Dragon which is the 1972 films that Bruce Lee starred, wrote, and directed. In the film Bruce Lee plays Tang Lung, a Kung Fu expert from Hong Kong who is sent to Rome to help some relatives get rid of a problem they are having with some local thugs who wanted to steal the family business. In the film, Tang Lung will do battle with an American Karate champion who is a man simply known to us and the world as Colt (Chuck Norris). The film also stars Nora Miao (The Big Boss) as Chen Ching Hua, Robert Wall (Enter The Dragon) as Bob, Ing-Sik Whang (The Young Master) as Japanese Fighter, Jon T. Benn (The Man With The Iron Fists) as The Boss,  Chung-Hsin Huang (The Chinese Connection) as Uncle Wang, and Little Unicorn (Shaolin Drunk Fighter) as Jimmy.

lee-vs-norris-copyTang Lung had to fight a couple of guys that day just to get to Colt who was awaiting his arrival (overall, he has beaten up to 22 guys at this point). As he stares into the ruins, he finds Colt up high in the air and you can feel the anticipation of the fight. A little worm by the name of Ho (Ping Ou Wei) tries to distract him by chanting things, but that doesn’t our Kung Fu master. When they finally meet, they warm up real quick to get themselves loose for the fight. After jockying to see who was going to land the first real hit, Chuck was able to get a roundhouse kick that sent Lee to the ground. Norris would continue the onslaught with some punches that connected, but as soon as he flipped him to the ground, Bruce grabbed a bunch of Norris’s chest hair and tore some hair off. It looked hopeless for Lee as Norris was on top of the fight with some big kicks, but that didn’t discourage Lee at all. Bleeding from the lip and a nice bruise on his cheek, Lee quickly re-accessed the situation. Norris tried to land kick after kick, but Lee was either blocking them or dodging them.

lee-vs-norris-copy-2Lee began to strike Norris, but Norris was blocking the kicks although he now looked a little worried. Then out of nowhere, Lee connected with some kicks to the head that shook the American champion and sent him reeling to the ground. It was over at this point, Norris couldn’t see anything that was coming from Lee whether it be some nice punches to the head or chest and stomach area or the kicks that rocked him to the ground. After connecting with some punches and driving Norris against a wall, Bruce broke his hand and his leg. Barely able to stand on both his legs, Norris never gave up, but he lunged at Lee who put him into a headlock and snapped his neck ending the fight and making him the winner at the 6:08 mark in the fight. Lee honored him like he was a true warrior after the fight by paying respect to his opponent.

jason-bourne-matt-damonAt one time, we reviewed every single film in The Bourne Franchise for Ass Whoopin Wednesdays and then I got caught up in the 365 movies challenge. So to start 2017 out right, we are reviewing the latest film in the franchise Jason Bourne which sees the return of star Matt Damon (The Bourne Identity). Jason Bourne has been out of the cross hairs of the government for quite some time as he makes his money by fighting. A message from a familiar former agent (Julia Stiles) revealing the final piece in the puzzle that he has been looking for puts him right back on track to fix the wrongs that had been done with him. This time though, he has to deal with a new hotshot CIA Agent (Alicia Vikander) and a CIA Director (Tommy Lee Jones) whose hell bent on getting rid of Bourne for good. The film also stars Vincent Cassel (Black Swan) as the Asset, Riz Ahmed (Rogue One: A Star Wars Story) as Aaron Kalloor, Ato Essandoh (Blood Diamond) as Craig Jeffers, Scott Shepherd (Bridge Of Spies) as Director NI Edwin Russell, Bill Camp (Midnight Special) as Malcolm Smith, Vinzenz Kiefer (Speed Racer) as Christian Dassault, and the film was directed by Paul Greengrass (The Bourne Supremacy). Before we get into the review of the film, let’s check out some stats: 

jason-bourne-stats

jason-bourne-gallery-06It was awesome that they brought Jason back into the series after The Bourne Legacy and with that being said let’s check out some stats. Jason has about 18 kills/knock outs in this film which isn’t bad because it’s his second highest amount in the franchise. As I said above the whole series is an origin story as you get bits and pieces of what happened to him as he discovers it. He has no love interest in this film, but Nicky Parsons dies and we discover that his father was killed so that is a yes to the next question. Depending on who you believe the big boss is, they are defeated, but you’ll have to see how for yourself. This was the only logical way for the series to go and I am glad they brought back the director (Greengrass) as well because he knows how the series should go as far as direction. I liked where they took the story in this one adding the beautiful Alicia Vikander who tip toes on the line of what is right and what is wrong. The cinematography is amazing in the film and you have to love the locational shots we get from all the places visited in the film. One thing that I did love that I want to talk about is how they used current events for the film. Bourne exposes BlackBriar which featured some assets in Syria or when he goes to meet Nicky Parsons, it’s during a demonstration in Greece which is under turmoil. It was smart and it made you interested to see where they would go especially after name dropping Snowden as well. I am going to give the film four fists out of five for a final grade.

maxresdefault-1I figured since We have been watching all of the Dirty Harry films with the one and the only Clint Eastwood (Sudden Impact) and I figured we’d finish off the series. Do not confuse today’s film The Dead Pool with that hilarious Marvel Comics movie because this one is based off a twisted game. The Dead Pool is a game where they write a list of celebrities that each person believes will die within the year an the person with the most deaths wins the game. It all becomes a little real though when a musician is found dead and his name is on the very list of a director (Liam Neeson). Harry Callahan (Eastwood) is put on the case as more and more celebrities start to turn up dead that are all linked to the director. The film also stars Patricia Clarkson (Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials) as Samantha Walker, Jim Carrey (The Number 23) as Johnny Squares, Evan C. Kim (V) as Al Quan, David Hunt (Jade) as Harlan Rook, Michael Goodwin (Stuck In Love) as Lt. Ackerman, Michael Currie (Sudden Impact) as Captain Donnelly, Anthony Charnota (The Rookie) as Lou Janero, Victoria Bastel (The Video Dead) as Suzanne Dayton, and the film was directed by Buddy Van Horn (Any Which Way You Can). Before we get into the review of the film, let’s check out some stats:

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dirtyharry5_02As far as the stats are concerned, it’s not the highest in the series, but it’s also not the lowest either. Harry Callahan has about 12 kills in the film and he still has no origin story and he shouldn’t this far deep. I didn’t know how to answer the love interest question because at first he doesn’t like her because she is a reporter, but he is eventually staying at her place in the film so that is why I wrote yes and no. His partner is wounded (first time not killed in the series) and she is taken hostage by the killer so I would say yes to that next question. The big boss is defeated and you’ll have to see how it’s done cause it’s really cool. Now as far as the series is concerned, I really liked this one because it embraced all of the 80’s in it’s glory, but it’s definitely not my favorite in the series. One thing that I have to comment on is tat I just can’t take Jim Carrey serious as a rock star in the film because everything he does is just cheesy. It’s almost like he is poking fun at the 1980’s while he pretends to be Axl Rose. You do get to see a cameo by at least Slash and Izzy Stradlin in the film during one scene in case you were wondering. It just seems unnatural when you are watching him during the scene. Liam Neeson I thought was great in the film playing an English low budget/b-movie horror director and Patricia Clarkson was amazing as well. I liked who they casted as Harry’s partner for sure because he was a nice balance for the tough as nails Callahan. The cinematography is cool and the story is pretty good as it would inspire our favorite Marvel Character’s origin. So, I am going to give the film an B+ for a final grade.

3165965Last week we took a break when it came to having an Ass Whoopin Wednesdays film because we were busy watching another film for our 365 movies in 36 days challenge blog. So this week, we decided to pick a film Chow Yun-Fat (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) that we’ve always wanted to watch in The Replacement Killers. John Lee (Yun-Fat) is one of the best assassins that money can buy. After a drug lord’s (Kenneth Tsang) son gets killed, John is tasked with doing a revenge job for him, but John’s conscience gets in the way and he fails to do the job. Knowing that he failed to do it, he will seek the help of a documents forger (Mira Sorvino) to get papers to go back to China. The only problem is that the drug lord has already hired replacement killers to not only finish the job, but to take you out as well. The film also stars Michael Rooker (Guardians Of The Galaxy) as Det. Zedkov, Jürgen Prochnow (Das Boot) as Michael Kogan, Til Schweiger (Inglorious Basterds) as Ryker, Danny Trejo (The Devil’s Rejects) as Collins, Clifton Collins Jr. (Triple 9) as Loco, Carlos Gomez (Desperado) as Hunt, Patrick Kilpatrick (Last Man Standing) as Pryce, and the film was directed by Antoine Fuqua (The Magnificent Seven). Before we get into the review of the film, let’s check out some stats:

replacement-killers-stats

replacement_killers_mira_sorvino_washWe decided to do this one as a tag team scenario just because he actually does team with her on she kind of gets in on the fun. As Far as Chow Yun-Fat’s stats are concerned, he has about 24 ko’s/kills, but no origin story other than the fact that he is an assassin. He really doesn’t have a love interest because he’s too busy trying to get home to save his family. Some friends of his do end up getting killed in the film which adds more fuel to the fire for him to finish the job. The big boss is defeated and of course watch the film to see how it happens.Most of her stats are the same except for the fact that I believe she only has three kills in the film total (it could be four). This film must have been very different for Yun-Fat because there is little to no martial arts in the film at all, it is a straight up fire fight with tons of guns. The 90’s was such a funny time because films were always trying to be hip especially with the imagery  like the clothing or the attitudes. I mean who dresses like the replacement killers in reality? This was a decent film, but there was just way too many times where certain actors were just trying too hard like Sorvino when she was being questioned by the cops. It was like ok, we get it you’re rebellious. The action however in the film is actually pretty cool and worth checking out and it’s the selling point of the film. I am going to give the film 3.3 fists out of five for a final grade.