Posts Tagged ‘Dolph Lundgren’

sixth-annual-monster-entertainment-awardsIt’s that time of the year, it’s award season which can only mean one thing and that the Sixth Annual Monster Entertainment Awards is here. We have the usual categories for you guys like Bad Ass Movie Of The Year, Album Of The Year, Horror Film Of The Year, but we also have some new ones for you guys this year. We have new categories like Netflix Show Of The Year, Metal Music Video Of The Year, Rock Music Video Of The Year, Metal Single Of The Year, and Rock Single Of The Year to name a few. This year is definitely going to be better than ever and once again we are also teaming up with Mr. X’s Punchout Blog where they have Male and Female Wrestler Of The Year as well as some new ones like Match Of The Year and many more. The beautiful part of these awards is that you the fans get to pick who you want to win each category as always and that is what is beautiful cause your voice will be heard and it won’t be hacked by Russians cause Archer is on the case. What we have for you right here is the movie side of the awards so check out all the categories, vote wisely, and you have until January 29TH to do so.

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The other day I was at work when a song came on that I immediately recognized and loved. The song I am talking about comes from one of my favorite Rocky movies in Rocky IV and it’s called No Easy Way Out and the track is by Robert Tepper. The song is most famous because its attached to the montage in the film when Rocky (Sylvester Stallone) goes for a ride in his sports car while he thinks about Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers), fighting Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren), and other things in his life. The song was originally featured in the film before it made it on to the album of the same name. One of my favorite things about this song is the cool bass line in the track along with the synths. The other thing I love about this song is the voice of Robert Tepper which fit this track perfectly. Check out the soundtrack which features music from Kenny Loggins, Survivor, James Brown, John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band, and more. Check out the track below:

kc2For this week’s Ass Whoopin Wednesday film, I knew I was taking a chance choosing the film I did because it was  1. a sequel that is 20 years too late and 2. it was going to have a low kill/knockout ratio. Nevertheless, I was excited to take the chance to see Kindergarten Cop 2 which stars Dolph Lundgren (Rocky IV) as FBI agent Zack Reed. Agent Reed has just busted Albanian gangster Zogu (Aleks Paunovic) with the help of a unknowing female he cares about named Katja (Rebecca Olson). With her gone into witness protection, he thinks everything is running smooth until he gets word that there could be a flash drive somewhere that a teacher hid that has the whole list of everyone in witness protection. Now, Zogu is on the hunt for the flash drive and Agent Reed has to step in and teach Kindergarten in order to try and find that flash drive before it’s too late. The film also stars Fiona Vroom (Step Up All In) as Michelle, Darla Taylor (Love On The Air) as Olivia, Sarah Strange (White Noise) as Miss Sinclaire, Bill Bellamy (Any Given Sunday) as Agent Sanders, Raphael Alejandro (Badge Of Honor) as Cowboy, and the film was directed by Don Michael Paul (Tremors 5: Bloodlines). Before we get into the review of the film, let’s check out some stars:

K COP 2 Stats

dolph-copAs far as the stats are concerned, as I told you all that there was going to be low Kill/Knockout stats and sure enough there was only eight. He has no origin story that we know of from watching this and he does have a love interest in one of the teachers. She is held hostage like he is so that is why I wrote sort of in the next category on there and the big boss is defeated. Back in the day, people thought that it was a crazy idea to have Arnold Schwarzenegger star in a comedy, but when it worked we were impressed. Unfortunately, Dolph Lundgren doesn’t have the comedy charisma that Arnold would prove to have, but I am not saying he did a terrible job. While it was entertaining to watch him on screen trying to be a kindergarten teacher, some of the lines just felt forced and not very timely. While the kids were also a huge part of the first film, they were a heck of a lot funnier in the first film then these kids were even though they grew on you. I kind of laughed at the idea of how they acted at this school with the emphasis of worry on not hurting kids feelings, making them all feel equal, and watching what they eat like peanuts. One girl brings tofu into class for lunch which was unheard of back in my day. They definitely got with the times as far as that was concerned, but you are left wondering why they decided to make a sequel? Overall, it’s kind of a bad film that we probably could have done without. That is why I am going to give the film an D for a final grade.

JM_MoP_1For today’s Ass Whoopin Wednesday film, I wanted to check out something else from Keanu Reeves after the news I had heard about John Wick 2. I have always been curious about Johnny Mnemonic and I figured what better time than now and we are promoting a Mixed tag team (man and woman) match this week. In the distant future of 2021, things are a lot different on the planet Earth as corporations now runs things in the world. The way information is delivered has also changed as human couriers named Mnemonics upload information into their heads. Johnny (Reeves) is a courier who agrees to carry an unusually large amount of information that will prove to be dangerous. What I mean by dangerous is that the Yakuza who basically do the dirty work for corporations wants the info in his head and with the help of his new bodyguard Jane (Dina Myer), he will have to do his best to get the information to the proper place before he dies because of it. The film also stars Ice-T (New Jack City) as J-Bone, Henry Rollins (Heat) as Spyder, Dolph Lundgren (Rocky IV) as Street Preacher, Udo Kier (Flesh For Frankenstein) as Ralfi, Tracy Tweed (Sunset Heat) as Pretty, and the film was directed by Robert Longo. Before we get into the review, let’s check out some stats:

johnny-mnemonic statsjohnny-mnemonic-1995-14-gAs far as the stats are concerned, the numbers are pretty low even for both of them. We will start with Dina Myers character Jane. She has the most knock outs/kills out of the both of them with nine and she has no origin story other than she is infected with the black shakes (which is common in 2021). Now as far as the love interest one is concerned, I placed a question mark there because I am not sure if Keanu and her are a thing in this film even though they do kiss. Everybody she knows like Spyder are getting taken out because of what Johnny carries and the big boss is defeated. Johnny (Reeves) has about seven kills/knock outs in the film and he has no origin story other than the fact that he is a courier. Nobody he knows that would affect him is getting taken out and the bog boss is defeated. The concept of the film was cool and it kind of looked at society back in the 1990’s. Think about HIV, AIDS, Cancer were all of a sudden a huge topic everywhere you looked, but yet there was no cure. There is too much money to be made by the Pharmaceutical companies especially if there really was a cure for all these illnesses. The part that was just too cheesy for me was Dolph Lundgren in this film as the street preacher. He’s an assassin that dresses up like Jesus telling you that salvation has come. Give me a break! Dina Meyer on the other hand was very enjoyable to watch on screen and Keanu was Keanu. Other than that, the film was enjoyable to say the least. I am going to give the film three fists out of five for a final grade.

hqdefaultBefore Marvel movies became the hip thing to do in the cinema world, there were films that they were releasing that weren’t that great. For today’s Ass Whoopin Wednesday film, we are checking out one of those films in The Punisher which starred Dolph Lundgren (Rocky IV) as Frank Castle, the cop who goes for vengeance after his family is murdered. You see it has been five years since the supposed death of Frank Castle and his family and someone known as The Punisher is taking out mobsters left and right. Only one cop (Louis Gossett Jr.) believes that The Punisher is Frank Castle and he is going after to Frank. Meanwhile the city is in chaos ever since he started murdering mobsters and the Japanese Yakuza are moving in, but it’s up to Frank to stop them. The film also stars Jeroen Krabbé (The Living Daylights) as Gianni Franco, Kim Miyori (The Grudge 2) as Lady Tanaka, Barry Otto (The Great Gatsby) as Shake, Brian Marshall (The Spy Who Loved Me) as Dino Moretti, Nancy Everhard (The Trial Of The Incredible Hulk) as Sam, Todd Boyce (Spy Game) as Terrone, and the film was directed by Mark Goldblatt (Dead Heat). Before we get into the review, let’s check out some stats:

punisher stats

punishingYeah let’s start this paragraph off by looking at the stats of this film. Frank Castle has about 63 kills in the film and that’s me low balling a little because one scene it was hard to tell who was killing who. All we know about his origin story is that he was a cop whose family was murdered by the mob. He has no love interest in the film because his wife and kids were murdered and he’s out for revenge. The big boss is defeated in the film and you’ll have to watch for yourself. The thing about this film and why it was probably a failure, is that it was just cheesy and sometimes it didn’t make sense. Why would he team up with a mobster he wants to kill in order to rescue that mobsters son? My other problem with the film lies in the make up department, they are getting some heat from me. What is going on with the way Frank Castle looks? He is alive and he is not a zombie! Throughout the film he gets progressively worse looking like he is the undead coming back for revenge. I will give Dolph credit because he is the first man to portray Frank Castle in anything live action related. Although, this did mark the second franchise that he starred in that failed (Masters Of The Universe). It’s not a terrible film, but it’s not amazing either. Just think Punisher: Warzone violence with less money for special effects. I am going to give the film 2 fists out of five for a final grade.

masters of the universeFor today’s Cheeseball Cinema film, I wanted to watch the 1987 Masters Of The Universe film ever since I had watched the Cannon Films documentary Electric Boogaloo: The Wild Untold Story Of Cannon Films. The Masters Of The Universe film is based off the hit 80’s cartoon television series He-Man and it stars Dolph Lundgren (Rocky IV) as He-Man. In this film, Lord Skeletor (Frank Langella) has just taken over Castle Greyskull on the planet Eternia and plans to dominate the Universe. The only problem is that a troll like locksmith has a prototype key to the universe in his possession that Skeletor needs, but it ends up on Earth in the possession of a couple of teens. He-Man and his crew will head to Earth to protect the teens before Skeletor’s evil forces get their hands on them. The film also stars Courteney Cox (Scream) as Julie, Meg Foster (They Live) as Evil-Lyn, Billy Barty (Body Slam) as Gwildor, Robert Duncan McNeill (Star Trek: Voyager) as Kevin, Jon Cypher (Hill Street Blues) as Duncan (Man At Arms), Chelsea Field (Commando) as Teela, James Tolkan (Back To The Future) as Det. Lubik, Christina Pickles (The Wedding Singer) as Sorceress Of Castle Grey Skull, Pons Maar (The Golden Child) as Saurod, and the film was directed by Gary Goddard.

skeletorI have to stop here and say that while the film can be typical 80’s cheese, it does have it’s moments where it’s fun. The 80’s were a fun and experimental time for cinema and people craved live action adaptations of their favorite cartoons. Well, back then the movies people loved went the other way and became cartoons like The Toxic Avenger or even Ghostbusters. You have to have an open mind going into this film that it’s not the greatest of films. If you can do that then you may actually have fun watching it. Dolph Lundgren doesn’t have many lines in this film and from what the documentary stated, Stallone asked the studio why they would give that guy lines. I think the fact that he didn’t have a lot of lines explains why he needed a speech and drama coach as it states in the credits of the film. One of the problems I also had with the film was Skeletor’s face, it just didn’t seem right and if I am correct, they bought a mask and placed it on him for budget purposes I believe. He also didn’t sound like the Skeletor we were all used to from the TV show which may have been a bold move n their part. I did think having the troll around was both funny and a little too cheesy and this was his first appearance. Overall, I had a lot of fun watching the film and it brought back some memories, but here is the final verdict. On a scale of one being close to an A-List Hollywood film and five being the cheesiest film of all time, I am going to give this film an 2.5 for a final grade.

Men Of WarOut of all the movies we have covered for Ass Whoopin Wednesdays, we kept leaving someone out of the spotlight. We covered almost every member of The Expendables crew from Stallone, Statham, Li, Snipes, but we kept leaving out the monster from Sweden known as Dolph Lundgren (Rocky IV). He’s played the main villain in a lot of movies, but very few times has he played the hero and that is why I chose to review Men Of War. Dolph stars as Nick the Swede, a lethal mercenary who is having trouble letting go of his abilities from the past. One day while in Chicago, he is approached by some shady businessmen who need him to complete a job in Asia. All Nick has to do is go to this island and get the islanders to agree to sign a piece of paper allowing the company to come in. When he gets there, Nick figures out that he and his men are in the wrong and he’ll go to battle to fix the wrongs. The film also stars the beautiful Charlotte Lewis (The Golden Child) as Loki, B.D. Wong (Jurassic Park) as Po, Tony Denison (The Amy Fisher Story) as Jimmy G, Tim Guinee (Blade) as Ocker, Don Harvey (Die Hard II: Die Harder) as Nolan, Tommy “Tiny” Lister (Friday) as Blades, Tom Wright (Marked For Death) as Jamaal, Catherine Bell (Bruce Almighty) as Grace Lashield, Trevor Goddard (Mortal Kombat) as Keefer, Kevin Tighe (What’s Eating Gilbert Grape) as Colonel Merrick, Thomas Gibson (Eyes Wide Shut) as Warren, and the film was directed by Perry Lang (Little Vegas). Before we get into the review of the film, let’s check out some of the stats:

Men Of War Stats

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lundgren And Lewis

Dolph Lundgren and Charlotte Lewis

Now I have to talk about a certain stat because it was a little difficult to keep track of while I was watching the film. As far as the kills/knockouts are concerned, I have him at 37, but it could be a lot more because he blew up a lot of the huts and I have no idea if there were causalities. The other thing is that a lot of the other characters in the film got in on the action and they eliminated a lot of guys, but our main focus was Mr. Lundgren. As far as a origin story is concerned, he doesn’t really have one other than the fact that he is a mercenary looking for personal peace. He falls in love with Loki (Lewis) and he has a sexual conquest during the film. As far as whether the love interest/friend/family member is hurt category, I just yes because some of the take a toll before the job is complete and as far as the big boss, he is defeated. One of my conflicts with the film is towards the end of the film when the Colonel is preaching to Nick about family and why he should be on their side. B.D. Wong shows up out of nowhere carrying the heads of the other investors and all of sudden the Colonel is like, “oh the job is over” and tries to walk away. Here they are going all out with over 50 men attacking this tiny island and that one thing makes him change his mind like they had made a mistake. Charlotte Lewis is a smoke show and I enjoyed having her in the film as the love interest and as a strong female character. B.D. Wong is one of the true highlights of the film as he gives the film that comedic relief it needed while at times being serious when needed as well. I was always a huge fan of this film from Lundgren, you should check it out for yourselves. I am giving it four fists out of five for a final grade.