Posts Tagged ‘Horror’

One of my favorite segments that I used to do on this blog some time ago is the What If… posts. It was a post that was meant to suspend reality and imagine if something was real or the norm. We’ve done What Ifs that made you imagine what it would have looked like if certain titles came out on VHS. I had another What If that imagined horror icons as beach models or just models in general. It’s just a fun little segment to help us suspend our beliefs even if only for a few minutes which brings me to today’s What If. Today’s What If is our tenth one that we have done overall and today we imagine horror films as a popular teen book line of the 90’s. I am sure anyone that grew up in the 1990’s remembers how Iconic R.L. Stine’s Goosebumps books were because I would get as many as I could at the school book fair. Now, let’s imagine what if some of your favorite horror films like Halloween, Child’s Play, The Thing, The Exorcist, A Nightmare On Elm Street, and so much more were Goosebumps books. That is exactly what horror fan Cam (@maskman93) did when he posted them on his Instagram page. Cam did such a bad ass job making thebooks look so believable. If you didn’t know any better you might think that these were the actual books. I am only presenting three of them to you guys because if you want to see any more then click on his username in the paragraph and check out the rest.

horror goose 1horror goose 2horror goose 3


SHARKNADO 5We have a tradition here at Cheeseball Cinema and that is we never miss an opportunity to review a Sharknado film. We have at one point reviewed every single Sharknado movie up to date except for one. Every time this film airs, I manage to not be anywhere near a television to catch it when it premieres so that is why I rely on Netflix to give it to me so that I can review it. In this one, Fin (Ian Ziering), April (Tara Reid), and now a little older Gil (Billy Barratt) are in the UK for a meeting on how to better prepared for another attack. Unfortunately, Finn gets called to Stonehenge thanks to Nova (Cassandra Scerbo) where they discover that these attacks have happened before in history, but after stealing a stone from it’s hiding spot, it causes one of the most deadliest Sharknados ever and it engulfs poor little Gil who they have to attempt to rescue before it’s too late. The film also stars Chris Kattan (A Night At The Roxbury) as Prime Minister, Samantha Fox (Three Kinds Of Heat) as Ms Moore, but you can’t forget the special cameos made by Charo as the Queen, Fabio as the pope, Downtown Julie Brown, Bret Michaels, Olivia Newton-John, Tony Hawk, Greg Louganis, Tiffany Pollard, John Morrison, Bai Ling, Geraldo Rivera, The Today Show, Good Morning Britain, and the film was directed by Anthony C. Ferrante (Boo).

Sharknado theater sceneNothing much changes from film to film because it’s the same old overacting from some of them and more bad acting from the now almost completely robotic Tara Reid. Hwer character is practically just a cyborg which might explain why she’s not good at showing emotion. She has the same look on her face when Thomas Ian Nichols was explaining how much he loved her in American Pie as to losing her son in this one. I thought making Fabio the pope was a little ballsy while Bret Michaels looked like he was having fun being stuck to a bus while also getting eaten by a shark eventually. Cassandra Scerbo is the only one that showed some acting skills towards the end of the film as they were starting to (SPOILER ALERT) kill everyone off. Then we get a surprise at the end of the film that could mean more Sharknado films as they mocked Back To The Future as well as Bond films, Godzilla, and even Indiana Jones. Listen we all know that the film is all about having fun we cause we know that its a cheesy film and nothing else. So you have to go into this just to sit back, relax, and have fun because it’s going to be one interesting ride.  They went all out with this one where we travel the globe from London to Australia, Japan, Egypt, and even Brazil. It’s awesome having an imagination. On a scale of one ebing close to an A-List Hollywood film and five being the cheesiest film of all time, I am going to give this one an 4.6 for a final grade.

Count Draculas Great LoveI have done so many Cheeseball Cinema posts on this blog that sometimes it is hard to find new material to talk about. I try and cover films that I find to be interesting and then I report them back to you and I hope that the least I can do is entertain all of you. This year at The Rock & Shock Horror Convention in Worcester this past October, I stopped by The Vinegar Syndrome table and I purchased some DVD’s to watch and you saw some of the reviews for Eddie’s 31 Days Of Halloween, but I saved one for Cheeseball Cinema. Some people do not realize that some great horror has come out of Europe and today’s film Count Dracula’s Great Love comes to us from Spain. The story follows four college girls as they travel back from a brief vacation in Europe. One unfaithful day, the carriage loses a wheel and the driver is killed by one of the horses leaving the girls stranded. With no other choice, the girls are forced to spend the night in a creepy old asylum that was purchased by a mysterious doctor (Paul Naschy) who may or may not be a Vampire. The film also stars Haydée Politoff (Bora Bora) as Karen, Rosanna Yanni (Fangs Of The Living Dead) as Senta, Mirta Miller (Bolero) as Elke, Ingrid Garbo (Maniac Mansion) as Marlene, Víctor Barrera (The Terrorist) as Imre, and the film was co-written and directed by Javier Aguirre (Sol).

Count Dracula's Great Love On Big ScreenI just wanted to say that I actually wish that I withheld this one and saved it for next year’s Eddie’s 31 Days Of Halloween. That is how surprisingly good that this film really was for a 70’s Spanish horror flick that had it all from the vampire to the beautiful women and even a great set that helped paint the picture. The acting seemed to be very well, but the film is overdubbed in English so I’m sure it was great in Spanish as well. There is a cool sequence in the film when Karen is reading from Van Helsings book and it shows one of Dracula’s kills, but it does it with a negative filter which I thought was pretty cool. The film kind of has a hiccup in one aspect of the writing that kind of bothered me towards the end of the film so I’m throwing a spoiler alert warning right now. Dracula’s whole mission in the film was to find a girl who fell in love with him on her own meaning that he didn’t convince her with his powers. The reason for that is that it will bring back his daughter from the dead. He decides to drop all of that in favor of love because he has never felt a love like hers and he dumps his daughters casket in the river. When she refuses to turn willingly into a vampire, he then kills himself which is poetic justice because that is what a woman will do to a man or the undead! The women in the film are beautiful and the film is actually pretty damn good so I am recommending this one to any horror fan. On a scale of one being close to an A-List Hollywood film and five being the cheesiest film of all time, I am going to give the film an 1.9 for a final grade.

Ingrid Garbo, Rosanna Yanni, and Loreta Tovar

ghostbloodIt has been our mission with the Unsigned Band Of The Week post to do two things with one being to try and give some exposure to some deserving bands and the other being to have a band from all 50 states. I think that we have done a pretty good job so far and after covering Michigan last week, we are going all the way to the west coast for our very next band. When most people think of Seattle, Washington, they think of Grunge music, Heart, and Queensryche, but they fail to recognize the diversity in the scene. The band that we chose for today can be best described as, “Gore-splattered ghostly thrash-blackening death-blood music from Seattle! Smash, burn, and eat the dead!” which is a direct quote from the heavy metal power trio GHOSTBLOOD. These guys are the real deal as they mix in punishing elements of thrash metal (maybe even a little Crossover?), Black, and even death metal all in a rage filled harmony on the track I provided for you today in Eviscerama. The track is amazing and is leaving me wanting to listen to more. So, if you want to check out more from the band, pay their Facebook page a visit and give it a like. Otherwise, check out the track below:

Death SpaSo, the other day I realized that I still had one more film left to watch from the VHSPS  (VHS Preservation Society) collection that I had for Cheeseball Cinema. So, I decided what better time than now to cover the film Death Spa for Cheeseball Cinema. The film stars William Bumiller (Boat Trip) as Starbody Health Spa owner Michael Evans who seems to have it all from the hot girlfriend and the most happening spa in Hollywood. Unfortunately for him, things start to go wrong at his spa when his girlfriend Laura (Brenda Bakke) has an accident in the club that almost cost her life. The accident causes a downward spiral as it seems that something sinister won’t stop until everyone dies inside the club as accident after accident begins to happen. The film also stars Merritt Butrick (Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan) as David, Robert Lipton (As The World Turns) as Tom, Alexa Hamilton (Three For The Road) as Priscilla Wayne, Ken Foree (Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III) as Marvin, Chelsea Field (Masters Of The Universe) as Darla, Shari Shattuck (On Deadly Ground) as Catherine, Tane McClure (Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas) as Vicky, Rosalind Cash (The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8TH Universe) as SGT. Stone, and the film was directed by Michael Fischa (My Mom’s A Werewolf). 

Brenda BakkeOne thing is for sire when it comes to this film is that there is plenty of T&A and some ridiculous 80’s outfits like some awful shoulder pads that Ken Foree has on to make him look tougher. The confusing thing about the film at times is that there is two different scenarios playing out in the same film and it’s a little annoying. You have the scenario that quite possibly that his dead wife is coming back to haunt him so she is causing some accidents to happen. The other scenario is that his lawyer is trying to sabotage the place so that he can buy it for cheap. Here’s the thing with that, if you wanted that to be a subplot then you should have the film be about that instead of the other major plot twist that we get as well. The one thing I will say is that the film had some decent star power to it and that story wasn’t that bad. The film was actually pretty decent considering it was made by the same people behind the Faces Of Death franchise. One of the appealing things to me was the kills as some of them were pretty unique like the girl who is melted by acid that comes out of the sprinkler system or the exploding heads. There is some corny kills like the cartoonish fish that kills a man and plenty more. The film has a little bit of an identity crisis, but it’s at least entertaining for the most part. Check it out for yourself through VHSPS or by finding it online. On a scale of one being close to an A-List Hollywood film and five being the cheesiest film of all time, I would have to give this one an 2.8 for a final grade.


How Do I Look?

Spare Parts Cheeseball PicI am finally starting to catch up on the all the films that I wanted to cover for Cheeseball Cinema which is one of my favorite segments to do. At last years Rock and Shock Horror Convention, I purchased some DVD’s from VHSPS (VHS Preservation Society) and one of the films I purchased is today’s film in Spare Parts (a.k.a. Fleisch). The film stars Jutta Speidel (For Heavens Sake) and Herbert Herrmann (Hexenschuß) as newlywed couple Monica and Mike. All they want to do is enjoy their honeymoon for some reason in New Mexico, but a sinister plot is going on at the Honeymoon Inn. People are being kidnapped and sold as unwilling organ donors at a nearby hospital. After two EMT’s failed to capture Monica, she partners up with a truck driver by the name of Bill (Wolf Roth) to get to the bottom of the issue and to try and save her husband from being butchered meat. The film also stars Charlotte Kerr (Mit siebzig hat man noch Träume) as Dr. Jackson, Christoph Lindert (Der Schlaf der Vernunft) as The Intern, Bob Cunningham (It Started In Naples) as Sergeant,  Tedi Altice as the hotel owner, Ben Zeller (Dances With Wolves) as medic, and the film was written and directed by Rainer Erler (Operation Ganymed).

Jutta SpeidelOne of the true highlights of this German film was the acting done by Wolf Roth who was absolutely superb in this TV Movie that was otherwise plagued with issues. I am not sure if it was the transfer from VHS to DVD that VHSPS did or the film itself, but the overdub was a little annoying. You could hear the audio at times before the lips ever moved and it gave me quite the task to judge their performances. Back to Wolf, he was the cool, calm, and collected truck driver who you knew in the back of his mind wanted a piece of Monica, but he was too good of a person to do so. Some of the acting from certain cast members was a little bit questionable, but overall they did a pretty decent job. My biggest issue is with how the film and the story played out. Mike gets kidnapped, she runs away, and manages to get rescued by Bill. They devise a plan to get captured and it works, but they have the truck drivers to watch their backs before they become slabs of meat. They manage to find out about the operation after stripping a man to his tighty whities and sticking him in the meat freezer. They successfully get in and deliver the EMT’s only to get trapped themselves. They travel to New York where she manages to escape again only for her to get detained by the police who for some reason decide to help her out. The only problem is that she has to team with the doctor in charge of this to get her man out before it’s too late. That is all after she was told that it was known who she was all along before she went to New York. Why all of a sudden the change of heart for the doctor and why should Monica trust her? It just went all over the place and that bothered me a little because I know where I would have gone with the story. There is the obligitory sex scene that is required in every late 70’s/80’s horror film. So check it out if you can at your own risk. On a scale of one being close to an A-List Hollywood film and five being the cheesiest film of all time, I am going to give it an 2.8 for a final grade because it was better than the last film I did.

Death Warmed UpEddie’s 31 Days Of Halloween is now behind us in the rear view mirror and I’m left here wondering what to do next. So, I figured I would check a film from one of the ones I received from VHSPS last year at Rock and Shock for Cheeseball Cinema and it has been some time since we’ve done one of these for all of you. The film I have for you guys today is an 1984 Australian film entitled Death Warmed Up (or it’s new name Death Warmed Over). The film stars Michael Hurst (Hercules: The Legendary Journeys) as Michael Tucker, a boy who is hypnotized by a crazed doctor and forced to kill his parents who were the doctors opposed his new plan for a certain type of neurosurgery. Now, it’s years later, Michael is free from a mental institution, but the doctor (played by Gary Day) is now on an island where he is creating superhuman war machines. Now it’s up to Michael to stop him before it’s too late. The film also stars Margaret Umbers (Bridge To Nowhere) as Sandy, William Upjohn (Dark City) as Lucas, Norelle Scott (User Friendly) as Jeannie, David Letch (Mr. Wrong) as Spider, Geoff Snell (Her Majesty) as Jannings, Bruno Lawrence (The Quiet Earth) as Tex, Nathaniel Lees (The Matrix Reloaded) as Jackson,  Jonathan Hardy (Mad Max) as Ranji Gandhi, and the film was directed by David Blyth (My Grandpa Is A Vampire).

Norelle Scott and William UpjohnFirst things first and that is I was in to this film at first because I could tell where it was going, but then it got lost somewhere in translation as the film wore on. They don’t explain why Spider is so obsessed with wanting to hurt Michael or his friends because technically the doctor has no idea that he is even there anyways. One thing is for sure and there is some necessary nudity which is what may have triggered the reasoning for poor old Spider. What could have triggered it also is that you see a whole lot of Michael in those awful European swimsuits that men used to wear. Seeing way too much of Michael even frightened me a little, I didn’t know if I could handle all of that. The acting in the film is actually pretty decent for the most part and that wasn’t necessarily my issue with the film. It just that no one else in the world doesn’t notice that there is something wrong with these guys that are walking around with lumps in their heads? I also have to be honest in that in the beginning of the film I thought we were going to see some very sexual content between two men, but it ended up being a way for the doctor to capture Michael for his experiments. The film all gets tied together in the end, but in my opinion it’s a little sloppy, but I can forgive them for that. If you want to take a chance on the film, good luck looking for it cause I bought it by chance just by looking at the cover. On a scale of one being an A-list Hollywood film and five being the cheesiest film of all time, I am going to give this one an three for a final grade. That is probably a harsh grade, but fair in my opinion.