Posts Tagged ‘Police Academy’

thedescent2dvduktopOnly one day left until the great holiday of Halloween, but that means one thing and that is tonight is Devil’s Night. There are creatures in this world that can only be the spawn of Satan or death itself and that is the case in the film The Descent: Part 2. The last place that Sarah (Shauna Macdonald) wants to be is back in the caves especially when you just barely escaped with your life. Unfortunately for her, that is exactly where she is going to end up doing thanks to an idea by Sheriff Vaines (Gavan O’Herlihy). The rest of the team Sarah was with is still missing and the sheriff wants to go back in with Sarah and a cave team to try and find the rest of them. What he and the team do not know is they are about to face death itself. The film also stars Jessika Williams (Doctor Who) as Susanne Small, Douglas Hodge (Robin Hood) as Dan, Josh Dallas (Once Upon A Time) as Greg, Anna Skellern (Gambit) as Cath, Michael J. Reynolds (Police Academy) as Ed Oswald, Natalie Mendoza (Moulin Rouge) as Juno, Krysten Cummings (Ghost Machine) as Ellen Rios, and the film was directed by Jon Harris (The Woman In Black).

278-spusk-2Now as far as which of the two films was better, I would definitely say that the first film is still the best one of the two. The first film had more layers to it then this film which is just a search and rescue mission gone bad. It had the crawlers who still looked creepy as hell and no matter how many you think you killed, there is still a crap ton more of them. The costume designers definitely deserve some props for making them as creepy as humanly possible. The acting was pretty good, but at times the accents were a little confusing. Do we have British climbers working for us or did they just mess up and not lose the accent? I know that it’s a British film, but it does take place in North Carolina. That is only a minor problem in the film, otherwise it’s a very good film that was something new for the horror genre. One of the things that drove me nuts about the film is that you are told to be quiet or they’ll hear you, but the characters do the opposite constantly. The various frustrations of a horror film that can occur all the time. The ending of the film was one that I didn’t see coming, but it leaves it up for talks about an another sequel. Will there be a third film? With the box office failure of this film, I would have to say probably not. This film has it’s moments, but it doesn’t top the first film. I am going to give this film an B for a final grade.

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sharknado 3Ever since the debut of the very first Sharknado film, I knew that we had a Cheeseball Cinema tradition on our hands. For today’s Cheeseball Cinema film, we are proud to present Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No. The film once again stars our favorite Shepard family Finn (Ian Ziering), April (Tara Reid), Claudia (Ryan Newman), and Grandma May (Bo Derek) as they head on another adventure. This film takes place a little after the Sharknado over New York City and Finn is in Washington DC to receive a medal for all his service from the President (Mark Cuban). While there, another Sharknado devastates DC and Finn soon discovers that a more sinister storm is on it’s way and that it could devastate the whole east coast. With the return of Nova (Cassie Scerbo) and the introduction of Finn’s dad Gil (David Hasselhoff), they try their best to take down the biggest Sharknado yet. The film also stars Frankie Muniz (Malcolm In The Middle) as Lucas, Blair Fowler (Prom) as Jess, Jack Griffo (Jinxed) as Billy, and the film features cameos from Chris Jericho (WWE Wrestler), Lou Ferrigno (The Incredible Hulk), Ne-Yo, Ann Coulter, Mark McGrath, Michael Winslow (Police Academy), Jackie Collins, Lorenzo Lamas, Kim Richards, Bill Engvall, Cindy Margolis, The crew from NBC’s The Today Show, Maria Menounos, Anthony Weiner, Robert Klein, and a heck of a lot more than that.

sharknadoThere are just so many things tat are wrong with this series that makes it so right especially if you are a fan of shitty fun movies like this. First how does a guy just all of sudden be able to fly a fighter jet and a space shuttle without messing up and how does a son teach two regular people how to fly? That is the type of stuff that this film gets away with and it’s OK because that is B Movie magic. There are so many cameos in this movie that you might miss some of them along the way like I did. One of my favorite cameos of the film had to be from Chris Jericho who plays a carnival ride person. I feel like some of these guys just want to say that they were killed by sharks in Sharknado. Don’t get me wrong because I would love to as well. I am going to warn you now that the next sentence is a spoiler alert so if you have not seen the film and you do not want to know anymore then stop reading the rest of the paragraph. What in the hell were the writers and directors thinking with the baby in the shark birth scene. That is the most godawful scene of the whole film, it took it to a level it didn’t need to be at. That was the kind of moment I could have done without and should have expected it. It was great to see Nova return and for you sleazeballs out there, I did not see any nudity, but she looks smoking hot in the film. On a scale of one being close to an A-list Hollywood film and five being the cheesiest film of all time, I am going to give this one 4.3 for a final grade.

Prom Night IIIWe continue to explore the world of horror movies because they are plenty of cheesy horror films and October is right around the corner which means Eddie’s 31 Days Of Halloween is coming right up. For today’s Cheeseball Cinema film, I chose to watch and review the third film in the Prom Night series in Prom Night III: The Last Kiss. Alex Grey (Tim Conlon) is your everyday normal kidd, but the problem is that he is an underachiever in just about everything in his life. I mean, he’s not a complete waste of space because he has a loving girlfriend Sarah (Cynthia Preston) and an equally underachieving best friend named Shane (David Stratton). Well, Alex’s luck is about to change because the spirit of Mary Lou Maloney (Courtney Taylor) escapes hell and hypnotizes Alex to help her with her killing while taking over his life. The film also stars Dylan Neal (50 Shades Of Grey) as Andrew, Jeremy Ratchford (Unforgiven) as Leonard, Roger Dunn (Police Academy) as Mr. Weatherall, George Chuvalo (The Fly) as Mr. Walker, Lesley Kelly (Graveyard Shift) as Miss Richards, London Juno (Parents) as Leah Grey, and the film was directed by Ron Oliver (Are You Afraid Of The Dark) and Peter R. Simpson (Prom Night II).

Courtney TaylorThis film was one of those that could have been a part Troma production with the type of humor that was involved in this film (Don’t worry I’ll explain). It had that Troma style to it where there’s a teacher with an absurd name who is leaving to take an absolute absurd job or the sex education moment in the film is very Troma like. Anyways there are plenty of cheese filled moments in this film to drive you nuts, but that is why we watch these films in the first plae. One thing that I do have to say befoe I go any further is that I do love the ideas for the kills that this film has. Some of them are pretty unique and kind of cool in that it’s a little different. If you are looking for some T&A, you’ll have to settle for a covered up Mary Lou for the most part, you get a little tease of side boob, but that is it. The story is OK, it moves along, but it could have been a little bit better. Out of all the actors in the film, Courtney Taylor (Mary Lou) was definitely the star of the show, she impressed me the most out of everyone. I definitely want to go back and watch the second Prom Night film and you never know I might do a review for it here or on Eddie’s 31 Days Of Halloween. The film is super rare and available on Youtube, if you desire to watch this at all. On a scale of one being close to an A-List Hollywood film and five being the cheesiest film of all time I am going to give this one a 3.3 for a final grade.

patton copyWe have been showing so many Netflix exclusives for the Tuesday Stand Up that I feel I made you believe that they are the only ones in the world that can produce great comedy specials which isn’t 100% true. You see there are other great companies that produce great comedy specials like Epix which is this awesome cable channel that I watch a lot of great stuff on and they are the company that produced today’s Tuesday Stand Up courtesy of Patton Oswalt, the King Of Queens/Ratatouille guy called Patton Oswalt: Tragedy Plus Comedy Equals Time which was recorded at the Spreckels Theater in San Diego. It’s also the fact that it’s Patton Oswalt and he delivers like in his last comedy special which we covered. In the comedy special, Patton tackles every issue  from his fitness goals, his dislike of Florida, fatherhood and all the challenges that are associated with it, battling depression, knowing your not young anymore, prostitutes in Atlanta, selling out, and how the Germans have no sense of humor at all and he does it in his unique style that is hilarious.

patton oswalt 2Patton has become one of my favorite stand up comedians to watch because he is a little different than most comedians that are out there and every now and again its nice to get something different. He tells some pretty amazing stories that will honestly make you laugh in this special from one like what  is America’s dick? Maine or Florida? When he tells you the answer it is absolutely hilarious. One of my favorite stories he tells is about his experience in Washington state when he was asked to play a gig at a casino for a ridiculous amounts of money that he had never been paid before and he does the gig. The story that ensues will just make you laugh and the Germans with no sense of humor is really funny cause it just might be true. Like I said, the special was produced by Epix, but it is available to watch on Netflix if you would like to watch it and just a cool fact that the special was directed by the very funny Bobcat Goldthwait from the Police Academy movies. Check it out for yourself, I am giving this special an A for a final grade because it deserves it.

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fantastic fourYou might be wondering about this week’s Super Sunday film entry considering we did the Fantastic Four last week, but I have a never before seen version for all of you this week. Roger Corman, the B-movie king who has produced more than 500 films in his career made this low budget version of The Fantastic Four that never saw the light of day. A group of four astronauts goes on a space mission that ends up being disastrous and they are forever changed after their spaceship explodes. Reed Richards (Alex Hyde-White) has the ability to stretch so he becomes Mr. Fantastic, Susan Storm (Rebecca Staab) has the ability to become invisible and she takes the name The Invisible Woman, Ben Grimm (Michael Bailey Smith) becomes this rock like thing that has super strength hence his new name The Thing, and Johnny Storm (Jay Underwood) has the ability to control flames and he becomes the Human Torch.  Together they will battle their arch enemy in Dr. Doom (Joseph Culp) who they thought was dead. The film also stars George Gaynes (Police Academy) as the professor, Kat Green (She’s All That) as Alicia Masters, Chuck Butto (Phantasm III: Lord Of The Dead) as Weasel, Carl Ciarfalio (Out Of The Furnace) as The Thing, and the film was directed by Oley Sassone (Bloodfist III: Forced To Fight).

dr. doomYou can immediately tell right from the start that this film is a Roger Corman produced film all the way and I honestly think I should have saved this for Cheeseball Cinema. This is one of the cheesiest superhero films that I have ever watched from the over acting to just about anything like the special effects, but they did what they had to do with a low budget. I can certainly understand why this never saw the light of day or why for a long time people never took these films seriously. The acting has to be the worst part about this film and I was surprised to see Michael Bailey Smith in this film after seeing him in so many horror films. A lot of the scenes are just too way over the top and overacted completely. The only thing I liked in this film better than the big budget version was the way Dr. Doom looked because it was really as authentic to the comic book as it could possibly be. For a final grade, this may seem harsh to some of you, but a D+ is the only foreseeable grade I could give this film. Again, there is a reason why this never saw the light of day, but you can watch it on Youtube.

visiting hoursDeborah Balin (Lee Grant) is someone that fights for what she believes in whether it be women’s rights or the rights of all mankind and she does it with her television show. In the beginning of the film she is speaking about a case that went to trial over a woman that has been accused of murder and we find Deborah fighting for the fact that it could have been self defense. The only problem is that a real woman hater named Colt Hawker (Michael Ironside) is furious over her show so he decides to try and kill Deborah in her own home. When Colt learns that his attempt to murder her doesn’t work, he tries to kill her in the hospital that she is staying at. The film also stars the beautiful Linda Purl (Matlock) as Nurse Sheila, the captain himself William Shatner (Star Trek) as Gary Baylor, Lenore Zann (Happy Birthday To Me) as Lisa, Kirsten Bishop (Frequency) as Denise, and Michael J. Reynolds (Police Academy) as Porter Halstrom.

visitingI honestly believed that in one of the scenes, we were going to get a full on lesbian scene, but that wasn’t the case. There isn’t a whole heck of a lot of nudity in the film which is okay, but surprising coming from an 80’s horror flick. William Shatner is of course William Shatner which means he overacts on some scenes, but the man is a legend. Michael Ironside is brilliant in the film as a woman hating homicidal maniac who takes pictures of his victims. The only thing I don’t understand is how he makes through the hospital in so many occasions under many different occupations. He’ll come in as a flower guy one day and maybe a nurse the next because no one has noticed. I definitely wanted to watch a film that I hadn’t seen yet and Netflix recommended this one to me so I did. The only thing is that at times, it drags a little and his victim choices sometimes don’t make a lot of sense either, but then again he’s homicidal. I am giving the film a B-