Cheeseball Cinema: Sharktopus (2010)

It is shark week on television which can only mean one thing for cheeseball cinema and that is we too are observing shark week. The film I chose for today was the film that came to SYFY before Sharknado, that’s right it’s Sharktopus. What happens when you combine a shark with an Octopus, you get S11 which is a creature that is half shark and half octopus that was created by a group for the US Navy. The only problem is that the device that keeps it from killing innocent people has been damaged and now the creature is on the attack. Nathan Sands (Eric Robert), the man responsible for S11 now has to hire a mercenary by the name of Flynn (Kerem Bursin) to try and capture the creature before he does too much damage. The film also stars Sara Malakul Lane (Jailbait) as Nicole Sands, Héctor Jiménez (Nacho Libre) as Bones, Liv Boughn (Dinoshark) as Stacy Everheart, Julian Gonzalez Esparza (All My Life) as Santos, Blake Lindsey (Bach From The Dead) as Pez, Shandi Finnessey (Miss USA) as Stephie, Ralph Garman (A Million Ways To Die In The West) as Captain Jack, and the film was directed by Declan O’Brien (Wrong Turn 3: Left For Dead).

There are films in the world that you see that are just so terrible that they are not fun to watch and then there are films that are terrible that are fun to watch. This is definitely one of those films that is so bad that it’s good and I am not surprised with Roger Corman as the producer of the film. Roger Corman is well known for his creature features and he started this crazy game on SYFY with Sharktopus before Sharknado. The CGI on the Sharktopus is just really obvious the whole entire film and what is funny is seeing the actors having to react like they were being grabbed by him. I didn’t have a problem with the sharktopus or it’s design, just too obvious that it was CGI which may have made it more fun. The other thing that made this movie great was the combination of bad acting combined with overacting and Eric Roberts. After a run in The Dark Knight trilogy, it’s still awesome to see that he is getting work. He does an amazing job being Eric Roberts which you can interpret for yourself at a later time or after you have seen this. Some of the overacting credits also go to Kerem Bursin, the mercenary, who just overacts int he film big time.There are some homages paid during the film like the chum scene which is them paying tribute to Jaws. It’s a TV movie so you can’t expect to see any nudity, but there are plenty of great looking women in the film and what is up with Mexico always being the spot where these creatures go? I’ve noticed that in a lot of B-Movie creature features that a lot of them take place in Mexico, why is that? Anyways, this is one of those films that is so bad that it’s fun to watch. On a scale of one being close to an A-List Hollywood film and five being the cheesiest film of all time, I am giving the film an 4.3 on the scale.

Super Sunday: Jay And Silent Bob’s Super Groovy Cartoon Movie (2013)

It’s been a little while since we last did a Super Sunday film and we apologize for that. We’ve been a little busy, but we have returned with something good for all of you to enjoy and laugh at. Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes (Clerks) made quite the career playing the dynamic weed smoking duo Jay and Silent Bob in live action films. Well, now the duo has returned in cartoon form in Jay And Silent Bob’s Super Groovy Cartoon Movie. Things are changing in Red Banks, New Jersey for the duo as the city is getting set to open up dispensaries, so the duo is trying to figure out exactly what it is there going to do when the future arrives. After securing some free cash, Silent Bob buys some scratch tickets and he hits the big jackpot which leads the duo to form the superhero duo Bluntman and Chronic as the duo decides to fight crime for a living. The film also stars Eliza Dushku (Dollhouse) as Lipstick Lesbian, Kevin Conroy (Batman: Mask Of The Phantasm) as The Mayor Of Red Bank, Neil Gaiman (Beowolf) as Albert the Butler, Ralph Garman (Ted) as Dickhead, Ben Gleib (The Book Of Life) as Newsgroup, Paul Hipp (Face/Off) as Ring Wearing Alien, Tara Strong (The Fairy Oddparents) as Cocknocker, Jennifer Schwalbach Smith (Zack And Miri Make A Porno) as Bluntgirl, Brian O’Halloran (Clerks) as Dante Hicks, and the film was directed by Steve Stark (Smodimations 2-D ).

This film is definitely very interesting and it’s sort of a parody film because they constantly reference various other superheroes through the film. They parody everyone from The Green Lantern, Captain America, Mr. Freeze, Dr. Octopus, Bane, and one of the scenes from Batman 1989. We all know that Kevin Smith is a comic book nerd so it’s only logical that after teasing us with Bluntman and Chronic for years that he finally made a film. This film is definitely not suitable for children as it has a lot of gay references and you can obviously see that with some of the names of the characters in the film and the language isn’t suitable either. What is funny is the origin stories of all the villains in the League Of Shitters is almost all identical in the way the story ends except for its leader. If you love everything ever done that involves Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith together as Jay and Silent Bob then you are definitely going to enjoy this film like I have. I know Bluntman and Chronic don’t exactly fit into the DC or Marvel Universe, but I figured that Kevin Smith was such a fan that it was worthy enough to be included as a Super Sunday review. The film is only 65 minutes in length which is nice and it’s available to watch on Netflix right now. I am going to give the film an B+ for a final grade.

Eddie’s 31 Days Of Halloween 2014: Day 2 : Tusk (2014)

When one thinks of some of the biggest names in Horror, one never pictures seeing the name of Kevin Smith among the greats like Craven, Carpenter, etc. I mean we are taking about the same guy that brought us comedy cult classics like Clerks, Mallrats, Dogma, and so many more. Well, Kevin has gotten in to the horror game with his own take on a phenomena in horror some years back. You see The Human Centipede took the horror world by the proverbial balls and became one of those films that even non horror fans had to check out. Now, Kevin has own version called Tusk which it’s origins came from his podcast show called Smodcast. The film is about a podcaster named Wallace (Justin Long) who likes to go around and interview weird people to mock them on his show that he does with his partner Ted (Haley Joel Osment). Well, while on a mission to interview a kid who chopped off his own leg in an accident, he stumbles upon an old man wanting to tell interesting stories. The only problem is that the old man is obsessed with creating a human walrus and Wallace is the newest target. The movie also stars Genesis Rodriguez (Identity Thief) as Ally, Michael Parks (We Are What We Are) as Howard Howe, Kevin’s daughter Harley Quinn Smith (Clerks II) as Girl Clerk #1, Lily-Rose Melody Depp (Johnny’s daughter) as Girl Clerk #2, Johnny Depp (A Nightmare On Elm Street) as Guy Lapointe, Harley Morenstein (Epic Meal Time) as a border agent, and Ralph Garman (Red State) as Frank Garmin.

First of all, if you’re looking for a pure horror film, this isn’t completely that because Kevin can’t leave out the comedy which is OK because it helps drive the story along. The movie is almost just like The Human Centipede where the victim gets poisoned only to wake up and find out that they are apart of a really weird experiment and the nice guy turns out to be a maniac. The old man has this weird obsession with his old walrus friend Mr. Tusk that he goes on a killing spree to find someone to take his place for some greater purpose you’ll find out later on. One of the best performances in the film not only comes from Justin Long, but Johnny Depp’s character Guy Lapointe is comedy gold. His an alcoholic Quebec has been detective whose life has been turned upside down due to his obsession with catching this killer. The film overall was smart, funny, and disturbing when it needed it to be and I really enjoyed the film. It’s definitely something different in a Halloween season at the cinema that looks promising. I am going to give this film a B for a final grade because Kevin Smith doe not make crappy movies (with the exception of Jersey Girls). Oh by the way, when you go to see the film in the theaters or however you do watch films, stick around until the very end of the credits for something extra.