Posts Tagged ‘Sara Malakul Lane’

beyond the gatesWhen I search for horror movies to watch for Eddie’s 31 Days Of Halloween, I always try to find films that strike some kind of interest from me. One of those things can be anything having to do with the 1980’s whether it be a theme or maybe a star from that era like the beautiful Barbara Crampton (Re-Animator). While cruising through Netflix’s horror section, I came across today’s film which is called Beyond The Gates. Brothers Gordon (Graham Skipper) and John Hardesty (Chase Williamson) are forced to see each once again when their father goes missing and is presumed dead. The two have to clean out their father’s video rental store that is made up of all old VHS cassettes. One day while in the office of the store, they stumble on an old VHS adventure game called Beyond The Gates. What they don’t realize is once they play the tape, they are forced to play the game or it will claim their souls. The film also stars Brea Grant (Rob Zombie’s Halloween II) as Margo, Matt Mercer (Contracted: Phase II) as Derek, Justin Welborn (The Final Destination) as Hank, Jesse Merlin (12 Deadly Days) as Elric, Sara Malakul Lane (Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse) as Dahlia, Henry LeBlanc (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) as Dad, Pierson Ryan (Red Team Go) as Ghoul, and the film was directed by Jackson Stewart (Supernatural). 

barbaraI always give you guys my honest opinion on everything I watch because I am a horror fan and it’s my genre of choice. Beyond The Gates is an excellent film that while it had some quirks to it (not many), it was a well written film and very well acted. The story itself was a very interesting one where what if you started playing a game and it wouldn’t let you go until you either finished it or it took your soul. What would you do? You’d have no other choice, but to finish the game because now it messes with reality. The kills in the film were a very interesting part of the film where the main characters are doing it without really doing it. I know that makes no sense, but what if the game told you to go outside and find the X. You find it only to dig it up and you find a doll. The game tells you there is a key inside so you tear the doll apart looking for it without realizing that your tearing a friend’s insides out. That is what I am talking about and I actually liked that about the film. It was very different than usual and very cool. Barbara Crampton was amazing as usual as the gamekeeper from hell who forces our brothers to play the game. The camera work is great and the editing is on point as well. I love the intro to the film that kind of shows you how a VHS cassette worked. I thought that was a cool nostalgic thing. I am however going to give the film an A- for a final grade and it’s available on Netflix as we speak.

beyond the


kickboxer-vengeanceOne of my all time favorite Jean Claude Van Damme films has always been Kickboxer not just because of how awesome Van Damme was, but also how cool Tong Po was too. In Hollywood, they are always remaking films and if you guessed it then the answer is yes. Our film for today’s Ass Whoopin Wednesdays is the new film Kickboxer: Vengeance. Eric Sloane (Darren Shahlavi) champions himself a really good fighter who has just won gold with the help of his little bro Kurt (Alain Moussi). Despite Kurt’s wishes, Eric travels to Thailand to take on Muay Thai champion Tong Po (Dave Bautista). Kurt will eventually go to see the fight, but when he does, he witnesses his brothers death in the ring. Kurt swears that he will get his revenge against Tong Po so he trains with a local Muay Thai trainer named Durand (Van Damme). The film also stars Gina Carano (Deadpool) as Marcia, Sara Malakul Lane (Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse) as Liu, Georges St-Pierre (Captain America: The Winter Soldier) as Kavi, T.J. Storm (Punisher: War Zone) as Storm, Hawn Tran (Heist) as Tran, Sam Medina (Keanu) as Crawford, MMA Fighter Cain Velasquez as King’s Fighter, and the film was directed by John Stockwell (Turistas). Before we get into the review of the film, let’s check out some of the stats:


kbv-copyAs far as the stats are concerned, Alain has about 30 kills/knock outs in the film and he doesn’t really have an origin story other than the training he receives. We also know that he attempted to take Tong Po’s life before he went for the training. He does have a love interest in the sexiest cop ever in Liu and he has a sexual conquest with her. Someone close to him does get hurt and it’s actually the death of his brother that drives him. He does defeat the big boss and you do know that this is a remake of the original film right? I loved the fact that Jean Claude Van Damme was in the film because the man is just full of charisma and in the original film he had tons of it. Alain was lacking a little bit of it in this film, but he did a great job overall. Dave Bautista was an amazing villain to have and he made Tong Po look even more dangerous than before with his size. As you can tell by my comment about the sexiest cop alive, it bothered me a little bit because she is way too attractive to be a cop. Nevertheless, she was great eye candy as was Gina Carano when she was on screen. It was cool that they had actual MMA fighters in the film as well to give a little authentic feel to it. Jean Claude Van Damme was a scene stealer when he was on and it’s why you should watch. I am going to give the film 3.5 fists out of five for a final grade because the original still kicks ass.

sharktopusIt is shark week on television which can only mean one thing for cheeseball cinema and that is we too are observing shark week. The film I chose for today was the film that came to SYFY before Sharknado, that’s right it’s Sharktopus. What happens when you combine a shark with an Octopus, you get S11 which is a creature that is half shark and half octopus that was created by a group for the US Navy. The only problem is that the device that keeps it from killing innocent people has been damaged and now the creature is on the attack. Nathan Sands (Eric Robert), the man responsible for S11 now has to hire a mercenary by the name of Flynn (Kerem Bursin) to try and capture the creature before he does too much damage. The film also stars Sara Malakul Lane (Jailbait) as Nicole Sands, Héctor Jiménez (Nacho Libre) as Bones, Liv Boughn (Dinoshark) as Stacy Everheart, Julian Gonzalez Esparza (All My Life) as Santos, Blake Lindsey (Bach From The Dead) as Pez, Shandi Finnessey (Miss USA) as Stephie, Ralph Garman (A Million Ways To Die In The West) as Captain Jack, and the film was directed by Declan O’Brien (Wrong Turn 3: Left For Dead).

SHARKTOPUSThere are films in the world that you see that are just so terrible that they are not fun to watch and then there are films that are terrible that are fun to watch. This is definitely one of those films that is so bad that it’s good and I am not surprised with Roger Corman as the producer of the film. Roger Corman is well known for his creature features and he started this crazy game on SYFY with Sharktopus before Sharknado. The CGI on the Sharktopus is just really obvious the whole entire film and what is funny is seeing the actors having to react like they were being grabbed by him. I didn’t have a problem with the sharktopus or it’s design, just too obvious that it was CGI which may have made it more fun. The other thing that made this movie great was the combination of bad acting combined with overacting and Eric Roberts. After a run in The Dark Knight trilogy, it’s still awesome to see that he is getting work. He does an amazing job being Eric Roberts which you can interpret for yourself at a later time or after you have seen this. Some of the overacting credits also go to Kerem Bursin, the mercenary, who just overacts int he film big time.There are some homages paid during the film like the chum scene which is them paying tribute to Jaws. It’s a TV movie so you can’t expect to see any nudity, but there are plenty of great looking women in the film and what is up with Mexico always being the spot where these creatures go? I’ve noticed that in a lot of B-Movie creature features that a lot of them take place in Mexico, why is that? Anyways, this is one of those films that is so bad that it’s fun to watch. On a scale of one being close to an A-List Hollywood film and five being the cheesiest film of all time, I am giving the film an 4.3 on the scale.