Posts Tagged ‘Traci Lords’

IMG_3463We decided to be generous today and we are giving you a double shot of Ass Whoopin Wednesdays. For today’s Ass Whoopin Wednesday film, I wanted to explore one bad ass film from a member of The Expendables 3 crew that I hadn’t reviewed a film for yet. Wesley Snipes (Passenger 57) has made a lot of bad ass films in his day, but for today’s film we are watching his vampire classic loosely based on the Marvel Comic Blade. In Blade, Wesley Snipes plays the legendary day walker known as Blade who has made it his life goal to track down and kill Vampires with the help of his handler The Whistler (Kris Kristofferson). One night while on a routine mission, a vampire known as Quinn (Donal Logue) bites a doctor (N’Bushe Wright) who looks a lot like Blade’s mother, so Bade decides to help her out. The only thing is that she leads him to a greater cause and that is to kill a vampire named Deacon Frost (Stephen Dorff), who is hell bent on shaking up the order of the Vampires for his own personal greed. The film also stars Udo Kier (Flesh For Frankenstein) as Dragonetti, Arly Jover (The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo) as Mercury, Traci Lords (Not Of This Earth) as Racquel, Sanaa Lathan (Out Of Time) as Vanessa, Eric Edwards (Candyman) as Pearl, Tim Guinee (Iron Man) as Curtis Webb, Kevin Patrick Walls (Scream) as Krieger, Shannon Lee (High Voltage) as a resident, and the film was directed by Stephen Norrington (The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen). Before we get into the review of the film, let’s check out some stats.

Blade Stats

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IMG_3464This is definitely one of my favorite films of the 90’s because it was a unique film and a very different take on the Vampire genre then what we were used to at the time. Plus Wesley Snipes plays one heck of a vampire wrecking machine bad ass. As far as the stats are concerned for the film, Wesley wracks up a whopping 94 knockout/kills in this film even though the number could be a little bit higher (Those were all I could confirm). As far as an origin story is concerned, it is shown to you in the beginning, but it’s not explained until later on when Whistler explains it to the doctor and gives her the complete story. As far as I can tell in this film, he doesn’t have a love interest even though she helps him out later on. As far as a friend, love interest, or a family member being hurt, his mother is bitten by a vampire when she is pregnant with him and Whistler is attacked in the film and that really pisses him off. The big boss is definitely defeated in this film and you’ll just have to see how it’s down for yourself. Coming soon, we are going to be doing something special every now and again when we take some of our subjects from Ass Whoopin Wednesdays that we have covered and we are pinning them up against each other. For example, when Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee fought in a film or Wesley Snipes going up against Sylvester Stallone. So, you’ll want to stay tuned for that when we bring it to you which is also why we decided to cover Wesley Snipes here.

download (4)For this week’s Heavy Metal Book Report, I chose a book from an artist that I just couldn’t wait to read his autobiography because he is such a polarizing and mysterious figure. Of course, I am talking about shock rocker the one time self proclaimed Anti-Christ Marilyn Manson. Before 1999, we were all wondering just who the man known as Marilyn Manson really was and when he released The Long Hard Road Out Of Hell we were all intrigued to find out exactly who he was as he teamed up with Neil Strauss to write the book and the book predates Motley Crue’s The Dirt so this may have been the most shocking book at the time ro at least a book that could have inspired the Crue to tell their tale. Marilyn Manson even wrote a song with the same name that would accompany the book that was featured on the soundtrack to the film Spawn. Marilyn Manson was ready to tell his side of the story so that we could all understand exactly just who the man was and what helped create the man we all feared. In the book, Manson dives deep into his childhood as well as his formative years coming up in the scene as Marilyn Manson right all the way to the point of the release of Antichrist Superstar. Marilyn starts with the story if his very weird grandfather that is going to set up the stage of how weird and perverse the book can get, but you won’t be able to put it down cause you are hooked.

mansonThere is always this one tale that I am going to briefly tell you about that absolutely shocked me and made me think twice about certain members of his band as well as him. When they weren’t onstage causing mayhem and destruction, they were torturing fans that would volunteer to go into this torture device that test a persons limits . You had to lie in the contraption a certain way or it would choke you to death. One kid who lied int he contraption ended up confessing some messed up information about pimping his sister. There are more twisted stories in this book that either top that story or are just as equally mind boggling. One of the most common themes in this book is Marilyn’s undying quest to find love because it seems to be the most important thing in his life that he wants to fulfill. He talks about so many relationships in this book like one with Traci Lords as well as the singer from Jack Off Jill and so many more. Besides the struggle to find love, you also learn the struggles of trying to be an artist in a world that isn’t allowing you to be one freely. So many times the labels put constrictions on him or he would be wrongfully arrested by the law just cause they didn’t like him. While the book is a shocking read, it is also a very intelligent and articulate read filled with amazing stories that will fulfill any fans desire to know information. I definitely suggest that you go an pick up the book if you can because you learn a lot in this book. I am going to give the book four stars out of five for a final grade. He is the last living rockstar after all in my opinion.

not of thisRoger Corman is considered a master of b-horror as well as many other types of films because the man has produced over 400 films in his lifetime including this 1988 remake of the 1957 that was directed by Corman. This version was directed by Jim Wynorski and it stars the very sexy Traci Lords as Nadine Story, a nurse that has been asked to give a strange man blood transfusions at his house. Mr. Johnson (Arthur Roberts) is an alien from another planet that has come here to steal blood from humans like a vampire. With his special mental powers, Johnson is able to convince Dr. Rochelle (Ace Mask) to allow him to have these transfusions without any questions asked. Johnson’s planet is slowly dying and they need a new supply of blood and Earth is the new place to get it. The film also stars Kelli Maroney (Fast Times At Ridgemont High), Roxanne Kernohan (Critters 2),  Lenny Juliano (Commando), and Roger Lodge (Why Did I Get Married Too).

TracilordsThe film is so campy that it’s not even funny and some of the acting is just so cheesy. If you like movies with plenty of nudity, then this is surely the film for you because not only do you get to see Traci Lords naked (A couple of times), but much more. The scene with the hookers was kind of funny until he takes his sunglasses off and sucks the soul right out of your body. The beginning intro with the opening credits was real cheesy as they show you footage from other movies with aliens whose mouths look like vagina’s, etc. It’s not a very long movie and Traci Lords definitely adds a comedic twist to the film as she was clearly the MVP of the film. On a scale of 1 being close to an A-List film and 5 being the cheesiest film of all time, I am giving this film a 4. Remember that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a bad grade because the film was fun to watch.

Mr. Johnson Needs Your Soul

Mr. Johnson Needs Your Soul

 

 

 

 

 

not of this earth poster