Ass Whoopin Wednesdays: The Running Man (1987)

It has been a very long time since we last did an Ass Whoopin Wednesdays and for this week, we wanted to check out a classic from the vast catalog of ass whoopin films from the former Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger so we chose his 1987 film The Running Man which believe it or not is an loose adaptation of the book written by Stephen King. it’s 2017 and the economy has crashed and the country was in utter turmoil (sounds familiar) and the government has stepped in and has taken control of everything. They control what you can watch, eat, and listen to and God forbid if you disobey an order which is what Ben Richards (Schwarzenegger) is about to learn when he is sent to prison for disobeying a direct order to kill innocent civilians. With the aide of a couple of guys, Richards manages to escape prison only to be caught again when his meal ticket to freedom Amber (Maria Conchita Alonso) turns him in. Now, he has to compete on a game show called The Running Man where he’ll literally fight for his life or it’s death. The film also stars Jim Brown (Mars Attacks!) as Fireball, Jesse Ventura (Predator) as Captain Freedom, Richard Dawson (Family Feud) as Killian, Yaphet Kotto (Alien) as Laughlin, Marvin J. McIntyre (Twins) as Weiss, Professor Toru Tanaka (Last Action Hero) as Sub Zero, Gus Rethwisch (Twins) as Buzzsaw, Mick Fleetwood as Mic, the late Erland van Lidth (Stir Crazy) as Dynamo, and the film was directed by Paul Michael Glaser (Starsky and Hutch). Before we get into the review of the film, let’s check out some stats:

Alright, let’s check out some of these stats before we review the film overall. Arnold is able to gobble up 14 knock out/kills with five of them being really important ones because one was the big boss while the others were the four stalkers sent to try and kill him during the game. We don’t know that Amber is going to end up his love interest until really the end of the film because a kiss confirms everything. A lot of people that he ends up looking after during the game get killed so getting a little bit of revenge on Dawson’s character Killian is right on the menu for Ben Richards. The movie is actually really good and a definite highlight of Arnold’s career. Richard Dawson with the experience he had as a game show host made him the absolute best and perfect choice for the host of The Running Man show. One thing that I will say is that the film is very Reagan era esque in that the world has been consumed by the government after the economy has crashed. Hmmm, where have I seen this idea before? Oh that is right, we have seen in in every post apocalyptic film that came out in the 80’s as well as in Escape From New York and even John Carpenter’s other classic They Live!. So, while the idea of the film is not very original, it was loosely based off of a book released in 1982. The action is very good and Arnold is on point with his swagger and catchy one liners that just keep coming including his signature, “I’ll Be Back”. Check out the film for yourselves, I am giving it four fists out of five for a final grade. 

Cheeseball Cinema: Killer Tomatoes Strike Back! (1991)

There are films in this world that were tailor made for Cheeseball Cinema to the point that you just look at the title and you know. For example, various films from Troma Entertainment are Cheeseball Cinema worthy and anything that has the two words Killer Tomatoes attached to it, is as well. That is why for today I decided to check out the third film in the series entitled Killer Tomatoes Strike Back! and it was a VHS copy of the film. The film stars Rick Rockwell (Return Of The Killer Tomatoes!) as Detective Lance Boyle, who is having a very hard time believing that there is a such thing as killer tomatoes. That is until he is assigned to work with tomato scientist Kennedi Johnson (Crystal Carson) who uncovers an evil plot of the returning Professor Gangreen (John Astin) who is now assuming the role of talk show host Jeronahew as he attempts to brainwash the world. The film also stars J. Stephen Peace (Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes!) as Captain Wilbur Finletter, Steve Lundquist (Earth Girls Are Easy) as Igor, Cal Worthington (Into The Night) as himself, Debi Fares (Killer Tomatoes Eat France!) as Woman Victim, John Witherspoon (Friday) as Evan Rood, Frank Davis (Twins) as Sam Smith, and the film was written and directed by John De Bello (Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes!).

I think I was more excited about the fact that this was the very first film I have ever reviewed for Cheeseball Cinema that was watched on VHS. I found this film and the next one at my local thrift store and I couldn’t help myself as I had to own them both. Anytime, I am out in public, I am always thinking about you guys when I look at films and this was one film that fit the Cheeseball Cinema criteria well. For those of you that want nudity or T&A as I like to call it can forget that because there is a brief tease, but nothing else. The film definitely felt more like a spoof film of what was going on at the time with all the QVC like infomercials and the popularity of shows like Donahue and Geraldo in 1991. I also honestly believe that is what worked the most with this film is that they didn’t take themselves too seriously. They knew they had a ridiculous idea and they just had fun with it and that shows in the film. It is actually what made the film enjoyable with it’s Naked Gun like exaggerations of typical horror movie mythos. I definitely enjoyed the look of the tomatoes and the ridiculous Godfather tomato that wouldn’t talk for anything less than $100. The film was a lot of fun to watch and as ridiculous of an idea as it seems, it translated well in this one. I love the end credit post game locker room talk as well that we were provided with. On a scale of one being close to an A-List Hollywood film and five being the cheesiest film of all time, I am going to give the film an 2.9 for a final grade.

Eddie’s 31 Days Of Halloween 2014: Day 14: A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985)

If you ever want to watch a great documentary on the Nightmare On Elm Street series that goes through each film and gives you the inside scoop on the films then check out Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy on Netflix. I needed a movie to watch today and this was the only film in the series that was essentially available on Netflix so I checked out A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge which was released in 1985, a year following the release of the original film. It’s been five years since the Elm Street incident involving Nancy and a new family has moved into her old house. Jesse Walsh (Mark Patton) is just a kid trying to fit in when he starts to get some really weird dreams involving that ugly guy with the claws for hands. He dismisses it at first, but Freddy (Robert Englund) begins to try to possess Jesse and make Jesse do his dirty work until he can completely take over Jesse’s body. With the help of his friends Lisa (Kim Myers) and Ron Grady (Robert Rusler), they try their best to help him before it’s too late. The film also stars the legendary Clu Gulager (The Return Of The Living Dead) as Ken Walsh, Hope Lange (Death Wish) as Cheryl Walsh, Marshall Bell (Twins) as Schneider, Sydney Walsh (Point Break) as Kerry, Christie Clark (Children Of The Corn II) as Angela Walsh, and the film was directed by Jack Sholder (Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies).

Every horror film franchise has a film that everyone hates whether it be Halloween III: Season Of The Witch (which I liked), any Hellraiser after part 3, Leprechaun: Origins, etc. This was that film for a lot of people because the film was just plain weird from beginning to end. The sequel earned the nickname the gay nightmare back in the day with all the different homosexual tones that are buried within the film. Think about it for a second, the scene Mark Patton has in the bedroom when he’s cleaning his room, his girl like screams, the S&M club scene, the shower scene where Schneider is getting whipped by towels, and instead of going to his girlfriend for help, he decides to visit the good looking jock instead while he’s sleeping in his bedroom. All of that is not what bothered me about this film, it’s more about consistency for me. We established in the first film and all the films following this one that Freddy kills you in your dreams for a reason, you can’t harm him in the dream world. If Freddy were to come in to the real world, he could be killed so why in the world would he risk that just to possess someone. The other thing that bothered me about this film was the ending and I could have forgiven everything wrong about this film if the ending was better. Are you kidding me that the way to defeat such a vile being is by smothering him with love. This is probably why Wes Craven didn’t return to do this film. I’m mean he did have to battle Robert Shaye over the creative freedom of what the ending to the first film was going to be. For all the reasons listed above I am going to give this film a C- for a final grade because the beginning makes the film look promising, but the rest is a letdown.