Posts Tagged ‘XXX’

TheBourneSupremacy1Jason Bourne, the fifth film in the Bourne series comes out on July 29Th in theaters everywhere and I have not seen the whole series. So, what better place then here to start watching the series to catch up before the release of the film. For Ass Whoopin Wednesday, we are checking out the second film in the series The Bourne Supremacy which once again stars Matt Damon (The Bourne Identity) as Jason Bourne. Jason and Maria (Franka Potente) have been in hiding for the last two years, but a mysterious Russian hitman (Karl Urban) has managed to track him down in Goa, India. Kirill (Urban) manages to kill Maria instead of Jason and that sets Jason off to try and find some answers, but Jason walks into a sh** storm in Berlin. Jason is accused of murdering an agent and CIA official Landy (Joan Allen) is on the hunt. Bourne has to find some answers in order to clear his name before Landy can get to him. The film also stars Brian Cox (The Bourne Identity) as Ward Abbott, Julia Stiles (Save The Last Dance) as Nicky, Gabriel Mann (Revenge) as Daniel Zorn, Marton Csokas (xXx) as Jarda, Tom Gallop (Jerry Maguire) as Tom Cronin, Oksana Akinshina (Hipsters) as Irena Neski, and the film was directed by Paul Greengrass (Captain Phillips). Before we get into the review of the film, let’s check out some stats.

Bourne Supremacy Stats

Karl-in-The-Bourne-Supremacy-karl-urban-25533886-853-480Just like the last film, it picks up right where it left off as far as the action packed thriller is concerned. As far as the stats are concerned, Jason Bourne has abut 13 kills/knockouts which includes a brutal fight scene with Marton Csokas. Just like the last film, his memories are unfolding right before our eyes, but he finds out something dark in this film. He has a love interest which is Maria, but unfortunately she is killed in the film which answers the next question on the list. The big boss is defeated in the film, but like always you’ll have to see it for yourself. The action in the film is kind of divided between the people as you a lot with Karl Urban as well as Matt Damon. Damon only has a couple of real good action scenes with one being with Csokas who we end up finding out something about him and the car chase scene with Karl Urban. The end of the film is a little tricky because if they had ended it after his meeting with Oksana’s character, it would have made sense to end the series. But then they give you another scene right afterwards that opened up the doors for the next film which gives you Jason’s true identity or is it? Jason Bourne was and is sort of is the next generation of great espionage thrillers, but unlike James Bond, it deals with the CIA.  The cinematography was great, the acting was great, and the story was great so what else could you want? I am going to give the film 4.5 fists out of five for a final grade.

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xxxFor Ass Whoopin Wednesdays, we have just about covered so many guys and sometimes we’ve doubled back on some, but I forgot one guy. By the time of the release of xXx in 2002, Vin Diesel (The Fast And The Furious) was being marketed as the newest action star at the time and I have decided to cover it for today. He plays Xander Cage, an extreme sports enthusiast who has a knack for breaking the rules and doing things his way. After a stunt, he is sought out by a government agent named Augustus Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson) who wants him to go on a mission to Prague to infiltrate a group known as Anarchy 99. While in Prague, he’ll have to get close to the groups fearless leader known as Yorgi (Martin Csokas) and find a deadly weapon that has been missing for years and is feared to be with him. The film also stars Asia Argento (Land Of The Dead) as Yelena, Michael Roof (Black Hawk Down) as Agent Shavers, Richy Müller (4 Minutes) as Milan, Werner Daehn (Valkyrie) as Kirill, Petr Jákl (AVP: Alien Vs Predator) as Kolya, Danny Trejo (Machete) as El Jefe, Jan Pavel Filipensky (Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol) as Viktor, and the film was directed by Rob Cohen (Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story). Before We look at the review, how about we check out some stats:

xander stats

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

xxx 2For our good friend Xander Cage, He has about 23 kills in this film which he does with some style whether they are killed by an avalanche he causes or from his gun. We don’t know what his origin story is exactly in this film other than he has a rap sheet and he does have a love interest that he develops. No one close to him is hurt or killed that would cause him to go on a rampage and he does have a sexual conquest (we brought it back for this one). The big boss is defeated in the film, but Xander still has to go all out to save Prague in the end. This was a film that was made for the extreme sports generation as the world was experiencing a boom at the time and you’ll see it with almost every stunt Xander goes through in the film. There is some nice name dropping/placement for stuff int his film like a Metal Mullisha sticker that is caught by the camera when we are in Xander’s place. There is some cool cameos from extreme sports legends like Tony Hawk, Mat Hoffman, Brian Deegan, Cary Hart, and so many more. This film packed it all in to appease that world and it worked. We get a preview of Samuel L. Jackson doing his best Nick Fury impression or should I say we get a preview of what was to come some years later. There is a lot of action in the film and Vin Diesel is phenomenal as well as there is a lot of sexiness in the film too. I strongly suggest you guys check it out on Netflix or whatever right now. I am going to give the movie four fists out of five for a final grade.

Back in 2002, Vin Diesel continued to etch his name as an action star with the release of the bad ass action film xXx which saw a punk get a second chance as an agent for the government. The other part that was cool about this film was the fact that the soundtrack featured a heavy metal side with acts like Hatebreed, Flaw, Drowning Pool, Mushroomhead, and so many more on it. The soundtrack definitely introduced to one of my favorite hardcore acts today, but it also featured an artist from a 90’s alternative act that I loved in Bush. Adrenaline was one of the only original songs written for the soundtrack on the Heavy Metal side from Gavin Rossdale. While the song was a little different than what we were used to, it still featured that punch that we loved from Rossdale. The shame is that I would have loved hearing more from him after hearing this track and we eventually would six years later. Check out Adrenaline below and while you’re at it, like the official Facebook page for Moshpits & Movies here:

the equalizerThere have been tons of long awaited sequels announced, reboots, re-imaginings, and remakes that run rampant throughout Hollywood, but most are not as good as today’s Ass Whoopin Wednesday flick. The film is called The Equalizer and it stars the incredible Denzel Washington (Training Day) as Robert McCall, a man who thinks he has retired from a certain life that we don’t know about and is trying to move on with a quite life. That is until he meets a young woman named Teri (Chloë Grace Moretz) who is on the wrong side of the tracks in her life as she is being run by a brutal Russian mob. One day, Robert notices that something has happened to the young Teri and he comes out of retirement to evoke the set of skills he was given to serve one hell of a dish of Vengeance on the Russian Mob. The film also stars Marton Csokas (XXX) as Teddy, David Harbour (End Of Watch) as Masters, Haley Bennett (Marley & Me) as Mandy, Bill Pullman (Independence Day) as Brian Plummer, Melissa Leo (The Fighter) as Susan Plummer, David Meunier (Justified) as Slavi, Johnny Skourtis (The Return Of King Hippo) as Ralphie, Alex Veadov (We Own The Night) as Tevi, and the film was directed by Antoine Fuqua (Shooter). Before we get into the review of the film, let’s take a look at some of the stats.

equalizer stats

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

equalizerThis was one of my favorite action movies from 2014 and once again Denzel is an absolute bad ass in the vein of what Liam Neeson was in Taken. Of course, everyone is going to be making comparisons between the two films, but each deserves their own credit as both films are fantastic. Denzel plays this guy who is very clean cut, no BS, and no excuses kind of guy who like a flick of the switch is an absolute killing machine. Before I went to the movies to see this, I didn’t know that the film was done in Boston which added an extra element to the film for me, but it could have been done anywhere and I still would have liked it. The film has all of the prototypical 80’s action movie shots with one being Denzel walking with explosions happening in the background and another being him walking through the rain looking like a badass action hero or the angel of death from the victim’s perspective. The stats are pretty self explanatory as he gets 37 kills, we don’t really know who he really is besides being someone who may have worked for the government, and he goes on the mission of vengeance to help Chloe’s character. Some of the kill scenes in this film are pretty clever and it’s almost like they competing against Taken for most creative ways to kill people. Nevertheless, someone is going to pissed at that last statement because you know violence is bad. Do not try any of this at home. The film is available online to watch and on DVD so I suggest watching this if you are a fan of action movies and a fan of Denzel Washington who is an amazing actor. I am going to give the film five fists out of five for a final grade.

tvLong gone are the days where National Lampoon movies were actually good enough to qualify out of this category, but now they just end up in the Cheeseball Cinema. This film came out around the time that Jackass was still a good program producing movies that actually made people laugh so National Lampoon thought it was a great idea to take the guys to try and capitalize on their success in Steve O, Preston Lacy, Jason ‘Wee Man’ Acuña, and so many others. They all star in this film that spoofs everything that is popular in mainstream America from XXX (calm down, the Vin Diesel film), Cops, Fear Factor, Girls Gone Wild, and so many others. The film also stars Dian Bachar (Orgazmo), Abraham Benrubi (George Of The Jungle), Clifton Collins Jr. (Pacific Rim), Tony Cox (Bad Santa), Elisa Donovan (Clueless), Keren Gilbert (Beer League), Lee Majors (The Six Million Dollar Man), and so many more.

tv-2-copyAs I said above they spoof everything you could possibly imagine, but not all of them are great. The best spoofs in my opinion in this film is the Tijuana Cops (which features Clifton Collins Jr), The Real Fear Factor with Judd Nelson, Miami Mice (Weeman and Tony Cox), and Trading Races. Those spoofs actually make you laugh where some of them are just stupid (i.e. Pads, El Apprentice), or they started good, but ended pretty bad (i.e. XXXL, FNN Interviews). Steve O to me was just way out of his element because he isn’t funny at all. Make him do something stupid like pouring beer up his anal cavity and people are entertained, but don’t give him roles and think that acting drunk and drugged out is funny. One of the other great spoofs is Your in The Army Now which features Dweezil Zappa and it’s a spoof of Punk’d except the victim gets thrown into the army. That I thought was great and very entertaining. Overall, the film was completely bad and there was enough that was enjoyable and if you like lots of nudity then you’ll enjoy what’s in this. On a scale of 1 being close to an A-List Hollywood film and 5 being the cheesiest film of all time I am going to give this one a 3 for a final grade.

draculaI hate to include anything from Italian Horror Master Dario Argento, a man behind some of my favorite horror films like Opera, Suspira, Demons, etc. But after watching Argento’s Dracula, the latest offering from Dario, I just had to. The film is basically Dario’s take on the Bram Stoker classic, but he makes it even more sexier. Unax Ugalde (Goya’s Ghosts) stars as Jonathan Harker, a unsuspecting man that has just been hired to be Dracula’s (Thomas Kretschmann) librarian. What he doesn’t expect is that when his wife (Marta Gastini) comes to visit him that Dracula is going to take a liking to her and the weird things in the house that don’t seem to make sense to him. The movie also stars Asia Argento (XXX), the very sexy Miriam Giovanelli (Drifters), Maria Cristina Heller (Angels & Demons), Giovanni Franzoni (Don’t Look Back), and Rutger Hauer (Hobo With A Shotgun) as Van Helsing,

Marta Gastini bathing Asia Argento

Marta Gastini bathing Asia Argento

As I had said in the above paragraph, I hate to include a Dario Argento film, but after watching this I had no choice. The best acting was done by Rutger Hauer who literally saves the movie as Van Helsing. Miriam Giovanelli does an great job as well, but if taking off your clothes and looking sexier than hell was an acting attribute, she’d win an Oscar for this film. Thomas Kretschmann does an excellent job with the role until he has to be an actual vampire and it just gets cheesy. It’s actually like that for a lot of the people in this film including the beautiful Asia Argento. The other MVP of the film besides Hauer is Marta Gastini, who plays Mina Harker, she was just amazing that she sold the part and left me wanting more after the film was done. What the film does have is plenty of nudity which makes the film even more enjoyable, but I have to be honest with all of you. I really liked what Dario did with the Dracula film, he spiced it up a bit. I just didn’t know that Dracula could take the form of many different things other than a Bat. On a scale from 1 being close to an A-list Hollywood film to 5 being the cheesiest film of all time I am giving this film a 3 cause it sort of rides that fine line.

A double shot of Miriam Giovanelli

A double shot of Miriam Giovanelli

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