Cheeseball Cinema: The Room (2003)

This is a very special edition of Cheeseball Cinema because I wasn’t going to have another one for you guys for at least a week or so. Last night, I traveled to one of my local theaters to see a film that is considered the best worst movie ever made or the Citizen Kane of worst movies ever made in The Room. With James Franco releasing The Disaster Artist in a month or so, I couldn’t resist the chance to cover this film for Cheeseball Cinema. Johnny (Tommy Wiseau) is a pretty successful banker in San Francisco who seems to have it all from a beautiful fiance in Lisa (Juliette Danielle) and all these friends that seem to care about him. We all know that nothing on the surface is ever the same deep down and we find that out when Lisa one day gets bored of Johnny and decides to go after his friend Mark (Greg Sestero) one month before their wedding. Can they keep this secret from Johnny and what will happen if he finds out, nothing will be the same ever again! The film also stars Philip Haldiman (The Overnight) as Denny, Carolyn Minnott (That’s My Bush!) as Claudette, Robyn Paris (Mr. Jinx) as Michelle, Mike Holmes (The Waking Dead) as Mike, and the film was written and directed by Tommy Wiseau. 

Juliette Danielle

They are not kidding when they say that this is the worst movie ever made and I thought that about Troll 2. There are so many things wrong with this film from the minute it starts to the minute it ends. First of all, the acting in this film is just absolutely horrendous for the most part and there are times that I am not sure what Tommy Wiseau says in the film. Second, who in the hell taught him how a chicken sounds when he’s calling someone a chicken because it’s just ridiculously wrong. Third, after every major scene, they remedy it with a sex scene that lasts longer than most of your dialogue driven scenes. Those were actually the saving grace of the film even though you can tell that Tommy was having sex with her belly button. The fourth thing that bothered me is that this film did a terrible job at letting you know who a new character was. Tommy just assumed that you would get the picture and just understand that the new character was important. The fourth thing is at times, we were given way too many establishing shots of San Francisco that it seemed like we were in an episode of Full House until Juliette or Tommy showed up on screen. You have to give it to these guys, they may have created the worst film ever made that we all enjoy watching, but you have to give them credit for doing so. It takes a lot of guts to create such a disastrous masterpiece and own up to it for the rest of your life. On a scale of one being a real Hollywood movie (like my Tommy play on words there) and five being the cheesiest film of all time, I am going to have to give this one an 3.9 for a final grade only because I love it.