Cheeseball Cinema: Zombeavers (2014)

There are some titles that you see online that you just can’t pass up especially when one of your posts is called Cheeseball Cinema. The minute I saw a post on Facebook about Zombeavers, I immediately knew that this was a film that was going to end up being a Cheeseball Cinema post. Three sorority sisters are on their way to the country side for a boys free weekend getaway. You see Jenn (Lexi Atkins) found out that her boyfriend cheated on her so Mary (Rachel Melvin) and Zoe (Cortney Palm) decide to take her out without any distractions until the boyfriends show up anyways. The only problem with it all is they din’t realize some toxic waste was dumped onto a beaver dam turning all of the beavers at the lake in zombie beavers. Now, they’ll have to try their best to escape the country side before they get eaten alive by beavers. The film also stars Hutch Dano (Ramona And Beezus) as Sam, Jake Weary (It Follows) as Tommy, Peter Gilroy (The Wedding Ringer) as Buck, Rex Linn (Cliffhanger) as Smyth, Brent Briscoe (The Dark Knight Rises) as Winston, Bill Burr (The Heat) as Joseph, John Mayer (Get Hard) as Luke, Robert R Shafer (Psycho Cop) as the trucker, and the film was directed by Jordan Rubin (Crank Yankers).

Can I just tell you how fantastically cheesy this film really is because I frigging loved it. This may be the new Sharknado unless they never make another Zombeavers ever again which would be a shame cause everyone jumps on the idea of making sequels. The film for some reason does not follow the typical rules of horror flicks where there is the slutty girl, the girl with a crushing secret, and the hurt/good girl. Now using your own better judgment and given the amount of research available, who lives and who dies? Nine times out of ten I am right on the money of who lives and who dies, but this film will fool you and that was a pleasant surprise. As far as T&A is concerned, there is one whole scene where Zoe is topless for a good amount of time, but other than that there is no more T&A for you b-movie fans. I have to also say that the acting isn’t that bad, just some of the writing was cheesy and that is forgivable at times. No the beavers itself were a little cheesy as you could tell that they were animatronics, but that is another part that just makes it more fun. All I am going to say is check out what happens to the humans when they are bitten by zombie beavers and Bill Burr’s cameo with Jon Mayer is excellent. On a scale of one being close to an A-List Hollywood film and five being the cheesiest film of all time I am going to give this film a 3.5 for a final grade. The movie is available on Netflix as we speak so go and check it out.

Filmfest Fridays: Dirty Girl (2010)

I am starting to figure out that I am a huge fan of Juno Temple and her work whether it be Killer Joe, Horns, Maleficent, or in the film that I chose for today’s Filmfest Friday flick. The film I chose for today is 2010’s Dirty Girl which pins Juno Temple as the overly sexual, fatherless, and lost girl Danielle. Danielle is lost because she is doing all the wrong things that end up finding her being sent down to a special classroom with the “special kids” or as it would be called Study Skills in some states.There she is forced to partner with Clarke (Jeremy Dozier) who is a boy just screaming to come out of the closet, but is scared to be himself for fear of what his father may do. With the help of Clarke, Danielle finally discovers who her real father is and the two will set out on a road trip to California so that Danielle can reunite with her father. Hopefully on the trip, Clarke can find what he is looking for as well because he is also on a personal journey. The film also stars Milla Jovovich (Dazed And Confused) as Danielle’s mother Sue Ann, Mary Steenburgen (What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?) as Clarke’s mother Peggy, Dwight Yoakam (Sling Blade) as Clarke’s father Joseph, Brent Briscoe (The Dark Knight Rises) as Officer Perry, William H. Macy (Boogie Nights) as Ray, Nicholas D’Agosto (Fired Up) as Joel, Tim McGraw (The Blind Side) as Danny, and the film was directed by Abe Sylvia (Nurse Jackie). 

When watching this film, you have to remember what times must have been like in Norman, Oklahoma circa 1987 and it all makes sense that someone would treat Clarke the way his father treats him. Fathers must have believed that it was a mental disease that could be cured and hence is the reason our society was so backwards for such a long time. Even though Danielle is on a journey to find her father, she is also on a journey to self discovery because Clarke is the most enlightened one of the duo. Clarke is the one that is most accepting of people while Danielle is much like her society, but she is willing to accept him because she feels they are misfits. Throughout this whole journey, Danielle wakes up and grows up right before your eyes, but she couldn’t have done it without Clarke as he is the agent of change much like John Candy’s character in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is to Steve Martin’s character hence the reason it’s a coming of age story. This is an amazing film that every one should check out because it’s well written and well acted and it features a great cast as well. The film debuted back in September of 2010 at TIFF (Toronto International Film Festival) and it’s available to watch on Netflix as we speak. I am going to give the film an A for a final grade because it was enjoyable to watch.