Eddie’s 31 Days Of Halloween 2019: Day 7: John Carpenter’s Body Bags (1993)

I have always been a fan of all the films that John Carpenter has made throughout his career and it all started with Halloween for me. The man then made some of the most memorable films like The Fog, The Thing, Escape From New York, They Live, and so many more. So, I was searching for a film to watch through the Vudu app when I came across the title John Carpenter’s Body Bags and I decided to dive in. The film is an anthology film with John Carpenter directing two out of the three stories and he plays the coroner, the Cryptkeeper like figure who presents us with The Gas Station which follows Anne (Alex Datcher) a college student who gets a job working the overnight at a gas station when a crazed killer is on the loose. The Hair follows Richard (Stacy Keach) a middle aged man who can’t deal with the fact that he is balding and then there is The Eye which stars Mark Hamill as a baseball player who gets into a car accident and loses his eye only to get a new one that comes with a heavy cost. The film also stars Robert Carradine (Revenge Of The Nerds) as Bill, David Naughton (An American Werewolf In London) as Pete, David Warner (Tron) as Dr. Lock, Twiggy (The Boy Friend) as Cathy, John Agar (The Mole People) as Dr. Lang, and so many more. 

The film features a lot of whose who of horror greats within the film as well as celebrities like Debbie Harry, Wes Craven, Roger Corman, Greg Nicotero, Sheena Easton, George ‘Buck’ Flower, Sam Raimi, Peter Jason, Tom Arnold, and even the late and great Tobe Hooper. Stylistically when you are watching the film, you can definitely tell what is a John Carpenter film because of the music, the camera angles, and various other elements that remind you of all his 80’s films. One thing that I will say is that no one in the world tops the Cryptkeeper not even John Carpenter who came off a little cheesy at times. I’m sure if you never watched an episode of Tales From The Crypt then you might disagree with me on that one. The stories themselves were pretty good with each one having a moral to the story that Carpenter can make a joke out of, but I didn’t catch the moral of the Gas Station one. The best one of them all in my opinion was The Eye because I get it’s a classic story told before, but Tobe Hooper does an awesome job infusing his style and Mark Hamill is great in the film going from the sweet bible obsessed baseball player to the psycho killer. If you love John Carpenter then I definitely think this is one to check out and I have to give credit to the late great Wes Craven who pulled off the creepiness very well. Check out the film on Vudu or wherever you get movies, I am going to give the film an B- for a final grade.

Ass Whoopin Wednesdays: The Running Man (1987)

It has been a very long time since we last did an Ass Whoopin Wednesdays and for this week, we wanted to check out a classic from the vast catalog of ass whoopin films from the former Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger so we chose his 1987 film The Running Man which believe it or not is an loose adaptation of the book written by Stephen King. it’s 2017 and the economy has crashed and the country was in utter turmoil (sounds familiar) and the government has stepped in and has taken control of everything. They control what you can watch, eat, and listen to and God forbid if you disobey an order which is what Ben Richards (Schwarzenegger) is about to learn when he is sent to prison for disobeying a direct order to kill innocent civilians. With the aide of a couple of guys, Richards manages to escape prison only to be caught again when his meal ticket to freedom Amber (Maria Conchita Alonso) turns him in. Now, he has to compete on a game show called The Running Man where he’ll literally fight for his life or it’s death. The film also stars Jim Brown (Mars Attacks!) as Fireball, Jesse Ventura (Predator) as Captain Freedom, Richard Dawson (Family Feud) as Killian, Yaphet Kotto (Alien) as Laughlin, Marvin J. McIntyre (Twins) as Weiss, Professor Toru Tanaka (Last Action Hero) as Sub Zero, Gus Rethwisch (Twins) as Buzzsaw, Mick Fleetwood as Mic, the late Erland van Lidth (Stir Crazy) as Dynamo, and the film was directed by Paul Michael Glaser (Starsky and Hutch). Before we get into the review of the film, let’s check out some stats:

Alright, let’s check out some of these stats before we review the film overall. Arnold is able to gobble up 14 knock out/kills with five of them being really important ones because one was the big boss while the others were the four stalkers sent to try and kill him during the game. We don’t know that Amber is going to end up his love interest until really the end of the film because a kiss confirms everything. A lot of people that he ends up looking after during the game get killed so getting a little bit of revenge on Dawson’s character Killian is right on the menu for Ben Richards. The movie is actually really good and a definite highlight of Arnold’s career. Richard Dawson with the experience he had as a game show host made him the absolute best and perfect choice for the host of The Running Man show. One thing that I will say is that the film is very Reagan era esque in that the world has been consumed by the government after the economy has crashed. Hmmm, where have I seen this idea before? Oh that is right, we have seen in in every post apocalyptic film that came out in the 80’s as well as in Escape From New York and even John Carpenter’s other classic They Live!. So, while the idea of the film is not very original, it was loosely based off of a book released in 1982. The action is very good and Arnold is on point with his swagger and catchy one liners that just keep coming including his signature, “I’ll Be Back”. Check out the film for yourselves, I am giving it four fists out of five for a final grade. 

Eddie’s 31 Days Of Halloween 2017: Day 15: Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990) Workprint Composite

One of the best debut films in any horror franchise has always been the creepy The Texas Chain Saw Massacre from 1974. It was such an eerie film that had never been duplicated especially with the turn it made in the 80’s sequel. For this year’s Eddie’s 31 Days Of Halloween, I had been looking to watch the third film in the franchise, but to no luck. That was until I ran by a copy of a workprint composite (I’ll explain this below) of the film Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III at Rock and Shock yesterday and now I present it to you. All Michelle (Kate Hodge) wants to do is drive her dad’s car from California to Florida so that she can move on with her life. While on the road in Texas with her friend Ryan (William Butler), they come into contact with the strange Sawyer family and what happens next is a fight for survival as they try and escape the dreaded clutches of Leatherface (R.A. Mihailoff). The film also stars Ken Foree (Dawn Of The Dead) as Benny, Viggo Mortensen (The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King) as Eddie “Tex” Sawyer, Joe Unger (Escape From New York) as Tinker Sawyer, Miriam Byrd-Nethery (Stepfather II) as Mama Sawyer, Jennifer Banko (Friday The 13TH Part VII: The New Blood) as Leatherface’s Daughter, and the film was directed by Jeff Burr (Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings). 

So what a workprint composite basically means is that the deleted scenes or scenes that were left out of the final cut are weaved into this film to show you what they left out. One thing I will say is that the ending is completely different than how the original ended and I have to say that I sort of liked it. It’s that classic ending of you think she has gotten away and she has found help, but she really hasn’t when you see who it is. You also have to remember going in to watching this that the scenes that are put back into the film are not the same quality as the original film. As far as the film is concerned, it’s definitely not the best in the franchise, but it makes a good attempt at following the second film and believe me it only gets wackier moving forward. One of the things that kind of bothered me was the attempt at recreating Edwin Neal’s famous hitchhiker character as a creepy peeping tom gas station attendant. I get why they did it because every film had it’s whack job from Chop Top in part II, etc. The film can get gruesome at times, but I felt like it wasn’t enough. You see the second film did a great job at adding the gruesomeness to the film and this one sort of lacked at times. The one thing that I did like was how whacked out the Sawyer family was in this film, it was almost like they were a tight-nit family. If you can find the film then check it out, but for now I am going to give the film an B- for a final grade.

Ass Whoopin Wednesdays: Escape From LA (1996)

Believe it or not, today’s Ass Whoopin Wednesday film is one that I have never seen all the way through. When I saw that Netflix had John Carpenter’s Escape From LA  available to watch online, I jumped at the opportunity to see it. The film once again stars Kurt Russell as the bad ass outlaw Snake Pilskin. It supposedly 15 years after the events of Escape From New York and the world has changed just a little bit. The president changed the constitution and he rules forever and Los Angeles is no longer apart of California in the year 2013 (only criminals and deported civilians are sent there). The problem is that the president (Cliff Robertson)’s daughter Utopia (A.J. Langer) has stolen a device that takes satellites and it can shut down power all over the world and she is somewhere in LA with the villainous Cuervo Jones (Georges Corraface) . So, the president gets Snake Pilskin into LA to retrieve the device in 10 hours or he dies and the whole world suffers. The film also stars Peter Fonda (Easy Rider) as Pipeline, Steve Buscemi (Boardwalk Empire) as Map To The Stars Eddie, Valeria Golino (Rain Man) as Taslima, Stacy Keach (American History X) as Cmdr. Malloy, Pam Grier (Coffy) as Hershe Las Palmas, Bruce Campbell (Evil Dead) as Surgeon General Of Beverly Hills, Michelle Forbes (Battlestar Galactica) as Brazen, and the film was directed by John Carpenter. Before we check out the review, let’s look at the stats:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is definitely one of the most iconic and bad ass characters that Kurt Russell has ever played in Outlaw Snake Pilskin. As far as the stats are concerned, he has 24 estimated kills and I say that cause it could have been more, but hard to tell. He did however win one basketball game that he was told to play. He has no origin story and no love interest. One of the things I did was as far as a Love Interest/Family/Friend getting hurt, I answered that with no because he hasn’t really known the people for too long to really consider them friends in my opinion. The big boss is defeated in the film, but you have to see the way it’s done cause it’s poetic justice for Snake. You have to think that a lot of the film is done in that 90’s special effects that still have a little bit of that 80’s flare to the look that I loved about the original. The acting is as good as expected with this film as Steve Buscemi really shines as a two timing weasel in the film and Valeria Golino looks absolutely hot in this film. One of the elements that I enjoyed about the film besides all the outrageous action is all of the sets. The way they make Los Angeles look like a modern wasteland. That was what was enjoyable to me and it was also enjoyable to see Bruce Campbell as the surgeon general of Beverly Hills. The first one was a classic and exceeded all expecatations and this one doesn’t disappoint either. I am going to give it 3.7 fists out of five for a final grade.

Ass Whoopin Wednesdays: The Octagon (1980)

For this week’s Ass Whoopin Wednesdays flick, I decided to go with one from one of the oldest action stars from the late 70’s and 80’s in Chuck Norris and his 1980 release The Octagon. In the film no one is willing to admit that Ninjas still exist and that is until a network of Nina terrorists starts creating havoc in the world when they start assassinating important people that they were involved with. The ninja terrorists are also trying to create a training ground for future ninja terrorists and the camp is run by Scott James’s (Norris) worst enemy in his former brother Seikura (Tadashi Yamashita). After some people close to him get killed, Scott decides that it is finally time to face his fear and get some revenge for the people Seikura’s men have claimed. The film also stars Karen Carlson (The Candidate) as Justine, Lee Van Cleef (Escape From New York) as McCarn, Carol Bagdasarian (General Hospital) as Aura, Kim Lankford (Malibu Beach) as Nancy, Richard Norton (Mr. Nice Guy) as Kyo, Larry D. Mann (The Sting) as Tibor, Kurt Grayson (The Ravagers) as Doggo, and the film was directed by Eric Karson (Black Eagle). Before we get into the review of the film, let’s look at some stats:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Carol Bagdasarian and Chuck Norris

The film is actually pretty decent and at times it’s weird because things aren’t explained very well like why does Chuck Norris’s character hear voices in his head unless that is what Ninjas do. I chose a Chuck Norris film because the man worked with Bruce Lee. The interactions with certain characters are poorly written and some of them just don’t make sense, but then again it is an Martial Arts/action film. For most of the film Norris only has 8 knockouts/kills, but the last 30 minutes or so he scores about 34 of them. The fight scenes are badass even though one of the tough guys Norris faces hisses at him throughout their whole battle. There is always a love scene in most action movies and this one has a very short one, but it comes from a third “girlfriend” he has in the film who also makes no sense as to why she turned. You’ll find out exactly what I am talking about if you watch this film. There is this one scene and I have to credit the cinematographer for getting it because it’s incredible, but it’s a shot of the Octagon where Norris will fight. I’ll have the picture for you below, but it’s definitely one of my favorite shots from the film. Overall, the film is a pretty decent action film, but my only problem is that things could have been written a little bit better in the beginning stages of the film. I am giving this film three fists out of five for a final grade.